The CrackBerry Chronicles: Bitter Berries

Written by Elaine Santore. Posted in Arts/Entertainment, Culture, Opinion, Politics

Published on April 14, 2008 with 1 Comment


Elaine Santore
Photo by Luke Thomas

By Elaine Santore

April 14, 2008

This is why bloggers can’t have nice things

Turns out Sen. Barack Obama’s quote about Pennsylvanians being bitter people who cling to guns and religion was leaked by OffTheBus.net blogger Mayhill Fowler. Fowler reportedly snuck a voice recorder into the $1,000/head fundraiser, but didn’t ID herself as a member of the press.

She’s my hero of the week.

Speaking of bitter people…

Fog City Journal tried (and failed) to charm and pose our way into a different Obama fundraiser at the Getty Manse last weekend. Apparently British accents and fierce accessories can only get you so far in life.

I didn’t recognize many people going in, except for Bonnie Raitt and District Attorney and campaign co-chair, Kamala Harris. Here’s a very TMZ-esque YouTube clip of me telling Bonnie that I love her.

Bonnie for Barack!

Remember her?

Here’s a photo of actress/Scientology goddess/Newsom ex Sofia Milos at some party in LA over the weekend. Milos dodged a bullet, and she knows it.

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Sofia Milos
Photo via WireImage

I’ve got nothing bad to say about this bitch, not even her stripper heels. Said it before, and I’ll say it again: praise Xenu!

xenu.jpg
CrackBerry is all about Xenu, and not afraid to blog about it.
Photo by The Hoff

CrackBerry Sightings

Kamala Harris having lunch with some dudes at the Whole Foods in Potrero Hill. Harris was probs planning her life as Attorney General in the Obama administration, even though that’s not why she’s supporting him or anything.


District Attorney Kamala Harris.

By proxy, from Big Brother because I obviously don’t go to clubs with actual celebs: Santino Rice from Project Runway at some “dirty gay faghag night” at a club in LA.

“I kept wishing you were here to make fun of this trannywreck’s red poncho,” BB said in a text.

I can’t believe my bro is using the word “trannywreck” and I’m not. Something is very wrong with the world.

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Santino Rice
File photo via WireImage

Elaine Santore

Elaine Santore

Elaine Santore was born in San Francisco during the awesome '80s. She spent a considerable amount of her childhood around City employees, all of whom taught her the value of pretending to be productive. After graduating from Saint Ignatius College Preparatory, she transferred schools three times but eventually received a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Nebraska - Lincoln in Psychology, with a double minor in Political Science and Textiles, Clothing and Design. This unique area of expertise makes her qualified to critique the sartorial missteps and psychological problems of local politicians. Elaine's work has also appeared in 7x7, California Home + Design, Filipinas, the Daily Nebraskan, SF Bay Guardian, and Spin.com.

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  1. In March 2007, the Columbia County, Pennsylvania, Democratic Committee voted unanimously to call for the investigation of impeachment charges against George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice, and Alberto Gonzales, and to initiate an investigation into alleged war crimes by Donald Rumsfeld. The following letter appeared in the Press-Enterprise of Columbia County in March 2007:

    Local Dems seeks probe, impeachment

    Columbia County Democratic Committee members present at the March 20, 2007 meeting voted unanimously to request by letter that Congressman Paul Kanjorski [D-Pennsylvania] initiate actions to investigate impeachment charges against the following individuals: George W. Bush, President; Richard Cheney, Vice President; Condoleezza Rice, Secretary of State; Alberto Gonzales, Attorney General; and to initiate an investigation of alleged war crimes by Donald Rumsfeld.

    In part, the letter includes the following concerns:

    Through the manipulation of intelligence and the use of lies, these individuals sought to promote and execute a preemptive war. The individuals singly or collectively:
    * Abused their office to spy on citizens without warrant, to deny citizens habeas corpus, to detain individuals without cause;
    * Endorsed kidnappling (extraordinary renditions) and encouraged torture at hidden, remote locations.

    The above-named deserve to be investigated and given the opportunity to present a defense in public in the Senate of the United States. It is alleged that gross abuses of power, violations and subversions of the Constitution have been committed. Crimes against peace and humanity, possible war crimes, deprivation of the civil rights of the people of the United States and other nations have taken place, and the remedy to all the individuals is within the bounds outlined in the United States Constitution.

    Individually or in concert Bush, Cheney, Rice and Gonzales sought to seize power to wage a war of aggression against Iraq, resulting in the killing or maiming of over 100,000 Iraqis [sic] and several thousand U.S. military personnel; provided false and deceptive rationales for war: instituted secret, illegal wiretapping spying operations against citizens of the United States; acted to deprive U.S. citizens of their constitutional and others of their human rights by ordering detention without access to council, without charge and without opportunity to appear before a civil judicial officer to challenge the detention; ordered or sought to order the indefinite detention of non-citizens in the United States and elsewhere at the discretion of the attorney general or the Secretary of Defense.

    Belinda Madden, Chair
    Michael DeMarco, Columbia County Democratic Committtee, Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania

    If either Senator Obama or Senator Clinton become our next president, it will be too late to pursue impeachment, as called for by residents of this rural Pennsylvania County, but it will not be too late to investigate charging at least Bush, Cheney, and Gonzales for war crimes — as this letter demands be done for Donald Rumsfeld. In fact, I would like to see San Francisco follow the lead of Columbia County and help get the war crimes prosecution ball rolling.