The CrackBerry Chronicles: Luck o’ the Irish Edition

Written by Elaine Santore. Posted in Events, Opinion, Politics

Published on March 16, 2009 with 13 Comments


Elaine Santore is generally not a fan of you.
Photos by Luke Thomas

By Elaine Santore

March 16, 2009

Not enough hash for your corned beef

Every once in a while there comes an event with a mix of people and motives even I can’t understand.

On March 11, Fog City Journal attended such a party for Aaron Peskin and the Board of Supervisors Class of 2000 hosted by unlikely partners in crime Platinum Advisors and the Residential Builders Association at the newly reopened Washington Square Bar & Grill, affectionately known as the “Washbag.” The Class of 2000 included former supervisors Peskin, Jake McGoldrick, Tony Hall, Matt Gonzalez, Gerardo Sandoval and current supervisors Chris Daly, Bevan Dufty and Sophie Maxwell.

Past experiences have assured FCJ that any party thrown by the RBA guarantees a good time, plenty of photo-ops, random guests and WTFs all around. I realized this event would be no different when we walked into the restaurant and the RBA said to the doorman, “These guys are VIP!” I was reassured again when Peskin walked in wearing a fleece vest and mom jeans.


RBA President Sean Keighran, Aaron Peskin, John O’Connor,
Platinum Advisors CEO Darius Anderson, and Angus McCarthy.


Richie Hart, John O’Connor, Supervisor Sean Elsbernd, Sean Keighran,
Aaron Peskin and Supervisor Ross “Big Poppa” Mirkarimi.

After about fifteen minutes, I knew I’d be writing a column for three people because pretty much everyone showed up to this event, except for a pouting and absent Mayor Gavin Newsom.


Carole Migden swaps spit with Darius Anderson.

 
Aaron Peskin and SF Labor Council honcho Tim Paulson.

Willie Brown needs to stop stealing my game

When Former Mayor Willie Brown arrived, I overheard him say, “I came here to see what I could write about.”


Willie Brown is the poor man’s Elaine Santore.


Richie Hart, Angus McCarthy, Laura Spanjian, Willie Brown,
Sean Keighran and John O’Connor.

If Willie Brown insists on biting my style, then he needs to do it right. If Willie Brown writes about a party in his column but doesn’t post any pictures and/or an embarrassing video on YouTube, then it’s not really a party. If Willie Brown shows up to a party with only one accessory, then he should just turn around and go home.

Mayor Gavin Newsom shouldn’t rename Third Street after Willie Brown because Willie Brown doesn’t care about black people, or anybody else who isn’t named Willie Brown.

And why is Newsom sucking up to Willie, anyway? Some suggest it’s Newsom’s way of saying sorry for being a complete waste of space and time. Others suggest Newsom wants to sick the six progressive board members on to Willie because Willie’s been dissing Newsom all over the state. Let’s not forget Willie will be backing Antonio “I have found Jesus” Villaraigosa over Newsom in the race for governor.


“Can you believe Aaron rolled up in here wearing a fleece and jeans?!
I can hardly stand to look at him.”


SRSLY, WTF are you wearing? Nice weave, tho.”


Willie Brown and Tony Hall.

But Willie Brown had another reason to come to the party besides pretending to be me for five minutes.

“When the RBA and Platinum Advisors told me they were doing this event, I came because I didn’t think these guys were popular at all. I was coming because I didn’t want them to be here talking to each other,” Brown said. “Lo and behold, every Goddamn occupancy code in the city has been violated. And that’s the ultimate statement to any ex-politician: You clearly were loved, respected and honored because we’re all here to say, in the loudest voice we can say, ‘Fuck you.'”

 
Former Mayor Willie Brown

Listen to Willie’s entire speech here.

Gerardo Sandoval should sign up for Tool Academy

Judge Gerardo Sandoval didn’t follow any of my rules from the last time we saw him, except for the part about wasting a drink in front of Irish people. Sandoval didn’t stay long enough to have one drink because he ran away after he saw Luke Thomas. Rude!

Because Judge Sandoval blatantly flouts the rules, I decided to give him the Perez Hilton treatment:

sandoval.jpg
Judge Gerardo Sandoval, Tim Paulson, Aaron Peskin.

“You have a baby … in a bar.”

Supervisor Chris Daly arrived to the Washbag with his 1-year-old daughter Grace, who seemed pretty unimpressed with the whole thing.


Can you spot the non-Irish person in this photo? John O’Connor, Elaine Santore, Sean Keighran,
Supervisor Chris Daly, Grace Eolen Daly and Richie Hart.

Sean Kieghran: “Let’s get Elaine in the photo.”
Chris Daly: “That’s because he knows that if Elaine’s in the photo, it will get on the website.”

A smart one, that CD.


“Don’t go making any PUC appointments while your daddy’s out of the country, kthanksbye.”


Grace Daly, suffering from lobbyist overload.

Somebody let Matt Gonzalez out of the basement!

Me: “I think we’re the only two people in the room under thirty.”
Matt Haney: “I know, it’s like old-school San Francisco in here. Oh my God, is that Matt Gonzalez?!”


Matt Gonzalez thrills the crowd with some oratory fireworks. (Just kidding.)

“What’s this party all about, anyway?”

Does it matter? The Washbag was literally overflowing with San Francisco politics and if you weren’t there, you can at least look at the photos and pretend you were.


Elaine Santore and Alex Tourk. Madonna gloves available at New York Apparel, $3.
Feather fascinator custom-made by yours truly.

rba.jpg
Warren Hinckle, Elaine Santore, Alex Tourk.

 
The crowd at the Washbag.


Jake McGoldrick and his wife Anthea.

 
Aaron Peskin, Jim Stearns.


Platinum Advisors President Chris Gruwell and CEO Darius Anderson.


Amy Laitinen, SFBG City Editor Steve Jones, Cat Rauschuber and David Noyola.

Elaine Santore

Elaine Santore

Elaine Santore was born in San Francisco during the awesome '80s. She spent a considerable amount of her childhood around City employees, all of whom taught her the value of pretending to be productive. After graduating from Saint Ignatius College Preparatory, she transferred schools three times but eventually received a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Nebraska - Lincoln in Psychology, with a double minor in Political Science and Textiles, Clothing and Design. This unique area of expertise makes her qualified to critique the sartorial missteps and psychological problems of local politicians. Elaine's work has also appeared in 7x7, California Home + Design, Filipinas, the Daily Nebraskan, SF Bay Guardian, and Spin.com.

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  • Great column, Elaine!

    Just one correction though — Bevan Dufty was first elected in 2002 along with Fiona Ma.

  • Jerry Jarvis

    Listen to Willie’s entire speech here? This video is private.

  • Oops, Willie’s speech (on YouTube) now available.

  • Elaine,

    And Luke. Best coverage of the event of anyone in City as someone else said. It wasn’t real until I saw Luke’s shots and heard Elaine’s snarky comments. Was there really tongue between Anderson and Migden? Isn’t that illegal?

    h.

  • Matt Stewart

    I don’t know why the Irish are considered lucky. They were gang raped by the English for about 900 years (no offense, Luke). Besides, isn’t the IRA making a comeback for some reason or other?

  • Hey Matt, no offense taken. I am actually sympathetic to the Republican cause for a united Ireland, through peaceful non-violent means I might add.

  • kay vasilyeva

    diversity is key – if you get stuck talking to a lobbyist for too long or if someone asks if you if you’re “still serving” (no, i just like wearing white shirts, thanks) you can always make a graceful exit by starting a conversation with someone more important.

  • Come on now, Kay, I never said that I didn’t like the North Beach waitress look.

  • sfsoma

    Where’s Ruby? Where’s Gavin and Swiss Miss? So many of these pictures contain people who should actually be in prison for corruption.that it boggles the mind.

  • kay vasilyeva

    oh you said it too, CD, i haven’t forgotten. i was actually referring to a guy who asked me that while i was consuming my beverage (he then asked for my card).

  • sfmike

    That is a great, funny report by Elaine and Luke’s photos, particularly of the transparently evil Willie Brown, are remarkable. Congratulations to both of you for being able to stick it out among the sulfurous fumes of corruption. I only lasted about five minutes because it was so revolting.

  • marc

    These people are why we need to impose a moratorium on entitling market rate residential construction until prices begin to rise.

    When our elected officials grant entitlements to build to those developers and lobbyists at this time, they are throwing more and more homes on the bonfire of foreclosure.

    In no other jurisdiction would government approve new housing starts when property values have been headed to the toilet for a year already unless they felt that placating developers was more important than looking out for the best interests of their constituents.

    -marc

  • tuttut

    Jake McGoldrick’s wife is named Anthea, not “Antonia”, as the caption states.