With h brown
Court Jester candidate endorsements
October 23, 2006
"The herd of candidates was scrawny and ugly by election
day. Many of them were bloated and diseased and most were delusional."
(from: 'Are you fucking kidding me?' by h. brown)
I've worked for 2 of the 92 candidates who are in your voter
guide this year and also for 1 imprisoned journalist. To put it
mildly, its been interesting. Let me give you a few facts that
not many 'experts' consider.
In addition to the 92 candidates, there are 23 state and City
propositions before you. Do you know how much this means that
Jim Sutton is going to make? ... OK, not just Sutton. But, I mean,
shit, it doesn't even end with candidates or propositions. Oh
no, elections are just as much about consultants and other political
'roadies' and their combined take in an election campaign like
this is truly amazing. You gotta admire that. Smart consultants
can't really lose. In the long run, they don't give a shit if
Donald Fisher's dip shit candidates lose their asses. Hell, they
certainly could have chosen better candidates. Even Willie Brown
bitched a few years back at the low quality of the candidates
for supe that Downtown sent him in 2000. Lucky for the Progressives
that Donald thinks that Heather Hiles is a charmer and that Rob
Black has charisma!
Speaking of which, let me give a couple of facts about electioneering
in this town:
1. Progressive volunteers outnumber Downtown volunteers by around
10-1 which is, maybe not so oddly, the same ratio by which Downtown
outspends the Progressives. An interesting facet of this reality
is that Downtown typically runs out of money to put paid canvassers
on the street a week or so before most campaigns end. Basically,
in the last week of any election in San Francisco, we own the
streets and they own the media. Pretty much happens every time.
Message is, if you want to have a maximum effect with your volunteer
work, get out there the last 2 weeks and stay out there. And,
dammit (sorry, Bruce) get some window signs up so's your neighbors
know who you support. You're special to your neighbors, you know?
Really, they know who pays attention to things political. They've
seen you carrying in those signs during election season. They
smell the smoke that drifts off your back porch when your degenerate
friends come to visit. And, they admire and envy you for it all.
Get your ass to somebody's headquarters.
2. Don't vote absentee. I got a pollster from the Rob Black campaign
calling today. After asking who I'd vote for (course, I said Daly)
he asked if I voted by absentee ballot. Now, why in the hell do
they need to know that? Hate to say it, but I'd say they're trying
to figure out how many fake absentee ballots they're going to
have to make up to take the place of those they toss, yet again,
into the Bay. You got an absentee ballot? Hold onto it and vote
at the polls. I'm not sure how it works, but I know that at least
the D.O.E. people record the returned ballots by placing them
in slots by precinct. You can simply bash how many absentees have
arrived from a particular district against a DeLeon index and
(if your precinct profile is accurate), you have a good idea how
you're doing in the absentee vote well before election day. I
just don't trust absentees (stats show they're the most abused
element in elections) and neither should you.
3. Green volunteers are the best. Vicki Leidner, for instance,
has done volunteer work for at least a half dozen campaigns that
I know of and keeps busy with Code Pink in her spare time. Jazzy
Collins has worked at least that many campaigns tho I'm not even
certain she's a Green. Daly put 175 people into the streets from
his 16th & Mission headquarters and a bunch of them were Greens.
Keefer draws 75 or better to her evening events now and has, by
far, the most entertaining shows. I'd guess Keefer's volunteers
to be 50% Green and 50% Demos and 'Decline to States'. Her audiences
are pretty solidly 'Decline to States'. Arthur Bruzzone and I
were talking demographics the other day and when he asked me to
define 'liberal Democrat', I told him there hadn't been any for
10 years. Said that that segment was now included under 'Decline
to State'. Yep, uh huh, that's true too. The leadership of the
local Democratic party is made up of political hacks who have
sold out everything from Gay rights (they endorsed Pelosi and
Feinstein and Jerry Brown - all of whom refused to endorse Gay
marriage), 120 million Falun Gong and thought the aforementioned
Heather HIles was just peachy.
I'm off chasing rabbits there again. Let me get back on point.
What I was getting at was that there are dozens of candidates
out there running campaigns but there are only so many cadres
of workers who have the knowledge and devotion to make a difference
in the vote and ... they are heavily courted. Now, let's get to
my picks and why I'm voting for them and, keep in mind, these
choices in no way reflect the opinions of Fog City Journal.
I voted for 23 of the 92 candidates. I chose 11 Greens, 10 Democrats,
1 Republican and 1 Libertarian. I voted against 1 candidate (voted
not to retain William R. McGuiness on the 9th Appeals Court because
he wrote their homophobic opinion holding that gays should not
have the right to marry one another in California). Here they
I'll call this one an 'SF Guardian' syle endorsement. I voted
(or, will on election day - I don't vote early or absentee) for
the Green Party candidate, Peter Camejo. Peter is the smartest
and I like his politics the best. As a human being, I despise
him. He damned near punched Medea Benjamin at a reception at Matt
Gonzalez's law firm last year. He's made destroying the local
Green Party a mission and has made bringing in carpet-bagging
ISO forces and attacks on local Green candidates a staple. He's
a deeply disturbed megalomaniac and the fact that he's best suited
to be our next governor should truly frighten voters.
I'm supporting Libertarian, Lynette Shaw for a very simple reason.
She came to our first 'Free Josh Wolf' fundraiser along with other
Libertarians and they gave money for Josh and they cared. The
Democrat (Garamendi) is strictly a spoils politician owned by
whomever gave him his last pile of cash. The Republican (McClintock)
is a fundamentalist nut case who should be checked for a belly
button. And, the Green? This was supposed to be the race Matt
Gonzalez walked away with. Instead, he's spending his energy standing
shoulder-to-shoulder with Camejo against the local Green Party.
How very sad.
Secretary of State
The 'Nader rule' is in effect for this one. I'd love to vote
for Forrest Hill because he's the best candidate ... and, he is.
Problem is, he has no chance and the difference in the Democratic
and Republican alternatives is so pronounced that I have to invoke
the Nader call. Sorry, Forrest.
This race is about Republican voting machines and they are more
dangerous than the Borg. We may, in fact, be too late to get rid
of these machines by any method short of a revolution but at least
the Democrat's Debra Bowen realizes their danger. Although she'd
probably have a different opinion of the machines if they were
produced by companies run by Democratic Party hacks, connect those
arrows next to Bowen's name and cross your fingers and pray the
machine you're voting on isn't already rigged.
I chose Green, Laura Wells as she's qualified and honest. As
usual, the Democratic and Republican candidates are simply party
hacks beholden to their wealthy masters.
I'm voting for the Democrat, Bill Lockyer because even Randy
Shaw sometimes gets one right. While I forget why the hell he
endorsed Lockyer (go to beyondchron.com & key word 'Lockyer')
I have notes right here saying that 'even Randy Shaw sometimes
gets one right' and I'm sticking with this endorsement because
as we used to say back in Missouri: "Even a blind hog finds
Jerry Brown all the way. Because Jerry is a consistently arrogant,
amazingly honest, extremely talented and hard working dick head.
Brown's institutional memory is his chief value here. In fact,
I'd like to see him become our next insufferably arrogant governor.
I'm voting Green all the way on this one. That's Larry Cafiero.
It's an easy choice. You have a career politician (Bustamante),
a billionaire weasel (Poizner) and a Green newspaper editor. For
once, I'm going to put aside my general distaste for all editors
in general. Poizner has spent 50 million dollars buying negative
advertising over the last couple of years. It's the Republican
mantra: 'If you can't tell lies about your opponents, why buy
ads?'. Poizner's poison perturbs people and I ain't alone on that
one. And, Bustamante? Hey, I have all of these sexual references
I could make about Cruz and Indian slot machines but I have too
much class for that. What are you laughing at?
Board of Equalization, District 1
Hey, I don't even know what the hell the 'Board of Equalization'
does. Sometimes they send me threatening bills accusing me of
not paying taxes on my extensive oil and gas holdings but other
than that, they're a complete mystery to me.
The Democratic candidate isn't a mystery. She's a shill for
the local SF Downtown cabal and has been for many years. The Republican
is, well, a Republican. Sooo, since I've decided that the task
of the Board of Equalization is to keep things unequal on the
side of the rich, I'm endorsing Libertarian, Kennita Watson in
an attempt to instill some chaos. That, and there's no Green candidate.
United States Senator
Let's see, the Democratic incumbent, Feinstein is a greedy,
capitalist, zionist war profiteer. The Republican sounds like
someone you'd meet at the Power Exchange ('Dick Mountjoy'?). I'm
backing the Green, Todd Chretien, who not only looks like Trotsky
but also wants to start a revolution. While I'm too old and cowardly
to fight, I'm always glad to see my candidates mix it up.
United States Representative (District 8)
This is actually a City office (District is wholly within SF
boundaries) but is listed as federal so's the League of Women
Voters here can refuse to schedule a debate in which Pelosi would
get creamed. Local LWV President, Jody Sanford, not so surprisingly,
works for Pelosi. Bit of conflict there?
Not for Nancy or the local press who also ignore the fact that
Pelosi steered billions in reclaimed military base land to Lennar
developers while her nephew was a Senior V.P. there. Not to mention
that Pelosi (along with Feinstein and Jerry Brown) refuses to
endorse Gay marriage.
Impeach Bush? Not on Nancy's 'to do' list.
Free state for Palestinians? Nope, Pelosi gives the Israelis
a blank check on any and all aggression.
The cornerstones of Krissy Keefer's campaign are: 'U.S. Out of
Iraq, Impeach Bush and Stop Global Warming'. Dance Mission's Artistic
Director is a long advocate of the Palestinian cause, opposes
Zionism and admires Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro.
Pelosi sucks and the Republican candidate (Mike DeNunzio) is
worse. He couldn't get closer to Bush without having sex with
him. The Libertarian, Phil Zimt Berg, is a nice guy who wants
to abolish rent control and favors Prop 90 which will do all that
That leaves us with Green Party candidate, Krissy Keefer who
has had a tougher fight than any candidate in your 192 page voter
information pamphlet. Endorsed by Matt Gonzalez, she withstood
an attempt to dump her by an old boys' network that included Tim
Redmond, Randy Shaw, Larry Bensky, Jim Dorenkott, Enrique Pierce
and Whitney Leigh.
Essentially, the Gonzalez inner-corp. All men against one woman,
all claiming to be Progressives. And, losing their write-in campaign
hasn't stopped them. To a man, they've continued to undermine
the Keefer effort. Bensky bragged on his show as recently as this
morning (10-22-06) that he'd tried to replace the lefty activist
dance icon. These sexist fuckers have no shame with their near
monopoly of media access to the Progressive community. They have
been a tougher foe in this campaign than Pelosi could ever have
been. Truth is that these guys have a huge stake in keeping the
Keefer vote down.
Vote for Keefer, not just because she's the best candidate.
Vote for her as a protest to all those who have tried to derail
her campaign, have shown an inexcusable lack of support for her
campaign, and continue to undermine her for no reason than petty
Ironic isn't it? All of the attacks upon the warrior queen have
come from within her own 'alliance'.
I'm voting for Republican, Ramiro Maldonado, Jr. because he's
never lied to me. Mark Leno lied to me when he went to Sacramento
4 years back. He promised me he'd introduce legislation to give
California counties the right to legalize prostitution within
their jursidictions if they so desired. He didn't do it and just
laughed when I asked for an explanation.
I normally don't vote either way on these 'retain or not retain'
votes on judges. Who the hell knows who these people are anyway?
Now and then though, one commits an act so egregious that it warrants
an entire campaign to remove them. Such as write an opinion for
the District 1 Court of Appeal denying Gay Californians the right
to all the legal benefits of Same Sex Marriage. Vote NO on William
San Francisco School Board
Vote for 'the 3 Kims'. That's easy to remember. All female.
Community College Board
The District administration, like their SFUSD counterparts,
do not serve the public interests. We need a majority of Progressives
on the Board to bring them into line. I chose Bruce Wolfe, John
Rizzo and Lawrence Wong.
You can't go wrong with Wolfe, Rizzo, Wong!
City and County Offices
The office holder is a Democratic Party hack. Who is running
unopposed. I'm leaving my own ballot blank for this office.
Jeff Adachi is, in my opinion, the second best elected official
in San Francisco. The first, in my opinion, is Sheriff Michael
Hennessey. I'd love to do an IRV ballot for mayor next year where
I got to rank them one and two with Daly third. Vote for Adachi.
Supervisor in District 6
Bulldog columnist extraordinaire, Jim Meko handicapped this
race most accurately. He called it: "Chris
Daly and the 7 Dwarfs". Indeed it is. Daly is my first
choice for mayor next year. He's easily the star of the 'Class
No supervisor has a more troubled district. And, no supervisor
has done more for the people of his district than Daly has for
D-6 over these past 6 years. Only the cops and mayor hate Daly.
That's because he calls upon them to do their jobs and they refuse.
The mayor and cops complain that Daly hasn't done enough for Public
Safety when it is their job.
The cops in the Tenderloin, for example, have the smallest district
in the City, by far. Yet, they're too lazy and chickenshit to
walk the beat. And, they've cut their arrests by 25% because they
say they're: "afraid of being sued".
So, let me get this straight; they don't do their job and it's
someone else's fault?
The mayor is the biggest joke in this city. He's scared shitless
to make the cops do their job. When he complained to POA chief,
Gary Delagnes that his occasional jogs to work through the Tenderloin
took him past the same hookers and drug dealers, Delagnes told
him to: "Jog to work a different way."
The arrogance of a lazy and cowardly police force and the mayor's
unwillingness to confront them are the reasons the Tenderloin
is dangerous. Believe me, I've lived in this neighborhood the
better part of the last 25 years and the problem is cops and mayors.
The District supervisor is the only one who listens to you.
Think the place is dirty? Guess who appoints the head of the
DPW? Why, it's the mayor!!
And, who do you think Muhammed Nuru listens to, Gavin or Chris?
Just another example of the mayor blaming Chris for something
Gavin doesn't have the balls to do. Is Chris responsible for Gavin's
I'll be voting my IRV selection as:
1. Chris Daly
2. George Diaz
3. Robert Jordan
That's all I have on my ballot. I wanted to weigh in on the
remainder of the supe's races though and endorse Barry Hermanson
in his contest against Fiona Ma.
Is dominated by the most selfish, intolerant, elitist ... forest
destroying, oil pumping, immigrant baiting, war mongering racists
imaginable. I cannot imagine them being better represented by
anyone other than their current representative, Michela Alioto-Pier.
Ron Dudum is the best candidate here by far. He knows the district
and is an honest man. Doug Chan is a duplicitous lackey whose
most recent accomplishment was selling out police reform just
before he quit the Police Commission. Janryk Mak has been doing
Fiona Ma's job cause Ma's lazy as an SFPD sargeant in a cruiser.
That's enough reason right there to vote against her. Abandon
IRV for this one and vote for Ron Dudum all by himself.
They used to say that the best thing a candidate could do before
an election was to have a front page picture of them rescuing
a baby from a burning building. Wellll, how's about a front page
photo of you rescuing a newborn infant from a scurillous attack
by a right-wing homophobic sleaze-ball radio show host?
District 8 has become a domain dominated by self-absorbed gay
Yuppies. Whereas, Bevan Dufty's principal challenger here is a
self-absorbed straight Yuppie. Her last accomplishment of any
note was as Willie Brown's appointee to the presidency of the
Elections Commission where she delayed IRV for over a year. Big
As usual, the only genuine alternative for the office is the
Libertarian candidate, Starchild. Frankly, I think the Castro
has become an uptight, anal retentive junior chamber of commerce
zone. I think all SF party hounds would welcome the opportunity
to visit a kind of retro-Castro, full of the chaos and danger
that a Starchild victory would insure. And, since the jaw-droppingly
handsome, candidate works part-time as a switch-hitting male escort
for hire, it would be the only district where, for a few bucks,
you would have the opportunity to screw your supervisor before
they screw you.
Sophie Maxwell is her own best customer. I'm convinced she actually
gets to believing the bulshit that Greg Assay feeds her daily.
"Now look into my eyes, Sophie. The Redevelopment Agency
is gooood for black people. And, you can trust Home Depot. Lennar
Developers are fine people." Crap like that year after year.
Selling out to one corporation after another.
Marie Harrison for District 10 supervisor. It was Harrison's
years of reporting on the disastrous effects of the Hunters Point
Power Plant that finally got it closed. In a scene reminiscent
of 'Working Girl' (with Marie playing Melanie Griffith's part),
Maxwell shut Harrison out of the ceremonies where the plant was
shuttered and tried to take credit for all of Harrison's work.
That was low down and Sophie didn't have to do it. Harrison for
Barry Hermanson over Fiona Ma. Ma's a scoundrel who is only
interested in power for power's sake. Her contributors care about
power to seize public funds and property. Ma has never disappointed
them. Hermanson spent a quarter century placing San Franciscans
in decent paying jobs. He's a scion of the Green Party and has
always been a major supporter of Tom Ammiano. Vote for Barry and
sleep with a clear conscience.
Anybody over Leland Yee
The biggest upset in the history of the U.S. Congress will occur
in 16 days when Krissy Keefer, against all odds, rides the tide
of the 75% of Americans who despise congress.. Trust me on this.
I've read the books and nothing like this has ever happened. Upshot
will be that Bush and Cheney and Rumsfield will go to prison.
That's because Keefer has promised that her first act will be
to move for articles of impeachment. And, as a second, she's looking
at legislation to remove the power of any president to pardon
any other president, vice president, cabinet member or member
of either house of Congress, past or present.
You think that won't get us out of Iraq?
Dudum will win in 4. That's the only change I see on the Board
of Supes. The money Donald Fisher has been spending advertising
for Chris Daly could well make Chris our next mayor. The '3 Kims'
will win seats on the school Board (just don't sit them next to
I'm clueless on the College Board. Like I said, I like: 'Wolfe,
You all know how I hate to cause trouble. However, in this case,
I'm gonna risk it by asking local Greens to vote for Debra Bowen
for Secretary of State. Leaving the Republican voting machines
under the control of a Republican Secretary of State is just too
big a risk.
Now go away and leave me alone.
h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com,
an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h
is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and
a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email
h at email@example.com.
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