COURT JESTERINGS

With h brown

Photo(s) by Luke Thomas

Court Jester gets pretty much soaked

By h. brown

November 14, 2006

"Someday a hard rain will come and wash this scum off the street."
(From the 1976 movie, Taxi Driver, starring Robert DeNiro).

That was a hell of a movie but the neighborhood that drove the DeNiro character mad wasn't nearly as bad as the one I live in. It doesn't rain hard enough to clean this place. Still, God did gave it a try today. Starting well before light and continuing deep into the night, our deity poured millions of gallons of water on months of caked Tenderloin vomit and human excrement. I fear it will take a stronger mix.

The Lord had better luck than Gavin, though. The DeBartolo's kicked his ass. Lennar Corp. kicked him in the nuts. The police chief took one ear and the POA took the other. There's really not much left for the Swells Olympic Committee but they're looking him over. Let's get a few things straight.

Getting a few things straight

Go to Google and enter: 'DeBartolo, mafia'. These people are no one to mess around with.

Can't build a stadium?

One of the first entries that pops up on Google is a bio of Eddie Sr. that talks not only about his mafia ties but also tosses out the interesting fact that he ran one of the biggest construction companies in the United States that built over 60 shopping centers by the mid 80's.

Oh, they can build a shopping center all right. They can build a stadium a year if they want. They're just not used to being treated as junior partners and treating them as such is not really very smart. The old man (Eddie Sr.) used to fly all around the country scoping out busy freeway intersections and buying land all around the best of them.

He could have a parking lot full of customers on a site within 18 months of the first time he flew over it. The Chronicle thinks they don't know what they're talking about when the DeBartolos talk about parking and infrastructure?

Tell me readers; do you really think that our 'Ken Doll' mayor and blue-eyed City Attorney frighten the Youngstown mob?

Bottom line

As Arthur Bruzzone pointed out in an Examiner column yesterday, the mayor is not in control of the situation in San Francisco.

Which situation? Pick one. Oh, there are people in charge. It's just that none of them is the mayor. That's gotta get pretty frustrating, no matter how much the job pays in wealth and prestige and pussy.

But, Gavin can't quit. That would be like dropping out of the mafia. It is simply not done.

On the stadium and the Niners? I think that I speak for the vast majority of San Franciscans when I say that I am a rabid fan and I don't give a shit if they play on the friggin' moon as long as I can watch them free on television. Let the DeBartolo's go in peace and just hope they use the 'San Francisco' tag before the 'Niners' logo.

I mean, c'mon, the mayor's out there supporting a 9-story garage with people tailgating on the roof? What kind of crazy shit is that? How many drunks would have to fall a hundred feet to their deaths before anyone admitted that a stacked parking garage wasn't such a good idea?

Obviously the DeBartolo's understand that they are dealing with lunatics and have decided to go their solitary way. Smart move.

We can always use Candlestick for public executions (make a bundle on pay-per-view), bum fights and an occasional international competition. Cow pie throwing comes to mind.

The mayor's already accustomed to standing in piles of bull shit.

"The Supreme Court has made their ruling. Now, let's see them enforce it."
(Franklin Roosevelt)

Nature has many questions that really can't be answered. 'How big a space is space?' 'What's so good about goodbye?' And, of course the really big one, ... 'How dumb is the San Francisco Board of Supervisors?'.

We actually might get some ballpark (pun intended) estimation of that last one today sometime after 2pm.

Oh yeah, this could be historic. These yo yo's are probably going to take the responsibility for the failure of the SFPD away from the mayor and claim it as their own.

Yeah, next year, instead of the mayor defending his failure to reign in the cops and get them on the pavement, he'll be attacking the Board for their failure to reign in the cops and get them on the pavement!

What the Board should do is vote 11-0 to give the mayor a chance to implement his foot patrol plan. The cops have said they'll implement it and the Chief of Police said today right on my television in my SRO room that she couldn't guarantee that individual precinct captains could guarantee implementing the Board's plan.

The Board should appoint groups of citizens from each district to monitor the success or failure of the mayor's plan once a month. If it's a failure in June, put a charter change on the ballot doing something truly radical like combining the PD and the Sheriff's Department, or moving to a force comprising 50% of Patrol Specials.

Ahhhh, the election is over but the next one is never really that far away is it?

Go in peace, the rant is ended.

h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com, an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email h at h@ludd.net.

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