COURT JESTERINGS

With h brown

San Francisco mayoral candidate, h. "Court Jester" Brown.
Photo(s) by Luke Thomas

Court Jester reviews Police Officers' Association MOU victory

By h. brown

June 27, 2007

"They want your suit back at the morgue!"

"You guys all ready for steroids testing?"

"How come there are no black cops here?"

"You guys getting overtime for being here?"

(Bulldog harasses cops)

As any football coach or big league manager can tell you, there are different ways to look at losing a ball game. Which is important information when, as the public, San Franciscans have traditionally played the Washington Generals to the SFPD's powerful union, the POA (Generals are the pseudo opponents the Harlem Globetrotters take on tour to pound on). Well, we lost again yesterday, but there was reason for hope in yesterday's ass-kicking.

First, the fact that there was a public hearing at all and that the cops actually showed up at the hearing. I can remember hearings back before district elections brought in a Progressive Board when the cops didn't show up at all.

Oh yeah, ask Ammiano about that (and, what was with the lesbian detective insulting Tom from the podium? - shit, when she got stabbed, he ran to her bedside - lady, is it so important for you to prove your manhood that you'll betray the entire LGBT community? - let me give you a message, lady - you will never kiss these Irishmen's asses enough to be 'one of the guys') … I remember when Ammiano was first in City-wide elections to the Board (and thus, its President) when 'da Mayor' told the SFPD that it was OK to ignore requests to appear before the Board.

So, the fact that the majority of the Board voted for the hearing (they had to send the POA contract back to committee which is kind of like trying to take a large salmon away from a full grown Grizzly) … the Board sent it back and they sent it to a committee (Peskin fought it, but lost) where the chair is a leading Progressive (Ross Mirkarimi - please run, Ross - don't leave me all alone) … they heard our complaints and reacted. That was a huge victory, folks.

Mayoral candidate fence sitter Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi

It was easily the friendliest exchange I've seen between the law enforcement monolith, the Board, and the public. The cops knew they'd won but scouted the opposition poorly (all our big guns were in Sacramento trying to overturn Copley - don't ask!) and turned out way too large a contingent. I counted 43 fully-armed Caucasian officers in the audience (that's why I was taunting them about 'overtime' and Gary actually wearing a suit). Shit, there were only 50 people!

Let me just say that when it comes to stacking a meeting, Delagnes doesn't have to take a back seat to Alex Clemens. When it became clear that there was no real opposition to the union pact, Gary let up on the throttle (like the dyke detective, set free, these complex little characters with badges and guns can do more damage than good) … Gary showed a restrained response in the Public Comment section of the hearing and stopped sending inner-circle POA cops up to give their own warped vision of the world (trust me, it ain't 'San Francisco values').

SFPOA honcho Gary Delagnes

A 'well regulated militia'?

Let me measure my words (a rarity) here. I am in no way saying that the SFPD is full of cowards who refuse to take risks (like walking solitary beats) in order to protect the citizens of San Francisco. No, I'm not saying that at all.

Wait! I think I am saying something like that. I'm saying that businessmen and families better hire private security to protect them for the next 8 years (assuming Gavin wins in November) because the cops ain't gonna do it. It's too dangerous for them and their union shields them from danger and accords them the highest pay possible.

Expect no drug controls in the ranks of the cops for this union. They'll be staying in their cars and out of such dangerous conveyances as helicopters and buses and kiosks (cobans?). They wouldn't know a single-officer beat if it ran up and bit them in the ass. And, if one or more of em gets out of their cars and they look like pro football players with an attitude? Watch your ass because the odds are that they are higher than a kite on roids and unbelievably aggressive and they will beat you to death or shoot you to death without ever being tested for drugs (they will test your body).

So, the cops will be doing less and getting more for it while the public is forced to hire vigilante services to protect them. Things like BID ('Business Improvement District' - is a way to say they hire private security to fill in for the donut n' coffee cruising cops) neighborhoods.

Or, they could create things called CBD's. Know what that is? Same thing as BID, only with different acronym. These are 'Community Benefits Districts', which means that the local businesses tax themselves to hire mercenaries to protect them against the criminals in the streets because the cops are busy with the donuts and the coffee and minimizing their risks.

Bottom line is that you lost big time and, oddly enough, so did the business interests. Essentially, like that huge slug in 'Gravity's Rainbow' (I'm tired of explaining) … like the huge cocaine-dependent slug in Gravity's Rainbow, the POA has another 8 years to sap our resources while providing no positive return.

Good cop work

Thanks to Tenderloin boss, Captain Gary Jimenez for keeping the screws turned on the corner of Larkin and O'Farrell and its attached block for the last 2 weeks. It is appreciated. I challenged him last week to keep the street in front of the World's Smallest Nightclub safe and, clearly, he's tried. Sadly, taking the scum that dominates this block away is like emptying a porta-potty at Woodstock. Keep it up Gary and I'll keep sending out commendations.

Tenderloin Captain Gary Jimenez

Alioto-Pier legislation sucks

(so does Daly's)

Michaela Alioto-Pier is lazy and rich and I know of no more deadly a combination as regards good government. But, wait, add sympathy for being disabled, an old family name and motherhood and you have a virtually unassailable chess piece. Trust me, the Downtown machine that created her realizes this to the nth degree.

District 2 Supervisor Michela Alioto-Pier

So, on the rare occasions when the princess deigns to attend Board meetings, she invariable sweetly presents legislation designed by her handlers (same as Gavin's) to weaken the Board generally and it's Progressive majority directly.

Thus is this stupid-ass new law she wants to enact allowing a Board majority to strip district elected representatives of committee representation. For? Nothing. Only that the majority of the Board disapproves of this person's politics.

"Fuck you!!!"

(Heather Hiles to Mark Sanchez)

So, of course, because the Alioto-Pier funders (Hellman & Fisher) had the majority of the School Board when Hiles lost control (appointed by them -never elected to anything in her life - she was listed as running a 'philanthropy' that disappeared when she was defeated) … cause Downtown ran the School Board at the time, when their stooge decided to curse out the leading Progressive voice on the Board, … so, reactionary Board President (at the time - thankfully, defeated now) … so, the Downtown Board censures Sanchez for getting cursed out!

"He must have done something."

(you following this?)

That was what Kelly said when he ignored Hiles' vile attack and blamed her victim. Amazing? Not at all for these folks. My point is that we have a very recent example of what the powers that Pier represents will do with the kind of power she's trying to give them. Should they manage a 6-5 majority on the Board of supes at any time, they will remove every Progressive from every position of power for no reason whatsoever. And, you can expect Pier to vote on the measure remotely. Oh yeah, she used her status as a disabled mother who commutes from Sonoma County (Hi there, Ed Jew!) to get the Board to pass a law saying she doesn't even have to come to meetings anymore.

We need a new Mayor

That's the only possible way to reform the SFPD. Once there's a new Mayor, he or she can appoint an entirely new command staff and they'll find that 1,950 of the forces 2,000 members will gladly walk beats and meet the public and eschew drugs. Right now, SF taxpayers are enabling a hostile occupying force that will be costing them a half billion bucks a year by the time this contract terms out. Re-elect Newsom and you'll get a worse contract 4 years from now .

"So, this priest and rabbi meet in the bathroom."

h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com, an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email h at h@ludd.net.

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