With h brown
San Francisco mayoral candidate, h. "Court Jester" Brown.
Court Jester invites San Francisco
to the 2nd Mayoral Candidates Debate
August 21, 2007
The collaborative is alive and well and kicking after our inaugural
face-off. This week Josh Wolf is in charge of the stage and my
job is build the audience.
"My goal Friday was to out-dress
Tony Hall. I came home that night
and I sat down and I cried because
it was the best time of my life."
(Candidate Billy Bob Whitmer)
I swear to God, some of these candidates will just tear your
heart out. Ahimsa Sumchai is getting credit for her decades of
work on environmental justice in the Bay View. Tony Hall is probably
the second most screwed over political figure in town. After Chris
Welcome to Next generation of Aliotos and Browns
This political shit really is secondary to the birth of grandchildren.
I only have 3 and they were all born in San Francisco within the
last 5 years. It's an in-your-face to native borns who think they
are better than those of us not born here. Wait, I'm getting political.
Damian Ryder Brown
(D. R. Brown - I'm gonna call him 'doc')
Born last Wednesday (8-15-07) at Kaiser. Mom is Veronica and
pop is my son, Alex. He joins cousins, Tandiwe and Wesley Nyandoro,
offspring of my favorite daughter, Mona (OK, she's my only daughter,
but I'm sure if I had more, she'd be my favorite) who was born
in St. Louis in a convent and son-in-law, Kudzai Nyandoro of Zimbabwe.
The San Francisco branch is a new field for the Browns who stretch
from Boston to L.A. with various stops in between. It will take
us 150 years of hot sex to catch the Aliotos in numbers here but
we expect to catch and pass the Fishers within a decade.
"It's 'Antonio', h.. 'Alfredo' is something you put on pasta."
(proud new uncle, Joe Alioto-Veronese)
So, the Veronese branch of the Alioto clan grows. You follow
your family clan branches over the years? Little Antonio can just
toddle around the family homes from SF to Rome and all of the
surrounding territories of same and look at the fine oil paintings
of famous relatives.
Little Damian (from 'Damiano', the saint of doctors to the poor
who - Angela tells me - was the guy who recruited our patron saint,
Francis of Assisi)
Damian's ancestors range from Mark Twain
to Cole Younger out of the Missour/Illinois valley to which they
all fled from Ireland a couple of hundred years back.
I got Antonio's name wrong in my first announcement of his birth.
Got Damian's wrong too. I guess I could use a fact-checker but
I so hate editors. Suffice to say that the kids are kicking and
looking around for offices to run for.
Come to Town Square Friday at 5 p.m.
(Alioto Plaza - under Mayor's balcony)
Bring something to sit on and Media Security Manager, Eric Steinberg
promised that wine and cheese would be appropriate for those of
you who take in the weekly 1 ½ hour show in front of City
Hall. The grass is lush and you can be a part of history if Newsom
actually grows balls and walks across to debate us. I pushed Newsom
handler, Eric Jaye on the spot yesterday when Fog City Guru, Luke
Thomas and I encountered him as we left da Hall.
Newsom Campaign Maestro Eric "Old Blue Eyes" Jaye
with h. Brown Campaign Maestro h. "Old Green Eyes" Brown.
"I still have to do a benefit for you!"
(Jaye tries to buy time)
I'd just finished resigning from the Green Party at the Department
of Elections and Luke had gone along to record the event. Along
the way, we'd encountered my neighbor, and inveterate public-commentor/singer,
Walter Paulson joined us and we were all headed back to our individual
digs a couple of blocks from the Dome.
Brown formally gives the Green Party the boot after being insulted
by Jim Dorenkott during Brown's presentation for the Green Party
endorsement. Dorenkott called Brown a "moocher" and
then vehemently denied it after Marc Salomon apologized on behalf
of the Green Party for Dorenkott's opportunistic attack. As one
Green Party member said following the insult, "The irony
of Dorenkott's insult escaped no one."
Jaye is a good looking guy which I'd surmised from his photos,
but he's better looking in person. Kind of an overweight version
of a sawed-off Ray Liotta with those pretty girlish eyes. He was
nice enough to pose for a photo and I asked him if the Mayor would
join us this Friday.
I've never insulted Newsom in public and in person. I wouldn't
do that. In writing is another thing, but that's a different matter
isn't it? Likewise with Jaye. He reiterated his feeling that an
organization made up of 11 of his 13 opponents wasn't a real organization
that the Mayor should meet in debate. Kind of like the Board of
Supervisors and their 'Question Time'.
Mayor should overrule Jaye and debate us
Again, I call for Gavin to be his own man in this matter. Hell,
it's not like I'm asking him to oppose an order from Walter Shorenstein.
Gavin is well prepared to debate and he should do so. It is only
right and the people of San Francisco said so last year at the
This Friday at 5pm for Mayoral debate
Anyone know Michael Powers? He's one of 2 mayoral candidates
who failed to show for last Friday's event. I phoned to ask him
why he didn't show.
Bulldog: "Why didn't you come to the debate?"
Powers: "I have a campaign manager and he said I shouldn't
Powers: "I don't think that campaigns should be collaborative."
Bulldog: "Do you intend to mount any kind of campaign?"
The guy was not friendly at all. All I know about him is that
he runs the Power Exchange sex club at Mission and Otis. I'm told
that it costs $40 for admission for males but that females and
drag queens get in free. Four stories of sweaty sex.
Why's a guy like this entering the race for Mayor? I gotta guess
that like George Davis and Chicken John, he's there to marginalize
serious candidates such as Ahimsa Sumchai and myself. If you're
looking at exploding cars and sex clubs and a guy running around
naked, you aren't likely to take much notice of serious issues
being addressed on stage.
Wilma Pang's a plant too. She and Davis admit that they're backing
Newsom but running anyway. She told the Green Party Saturday that
she was running because Richard Ow and others had come to her
and told her that she had to hold the Chinese vote for the Mayor.
How many real candidates?
Pang and Davis have endorsed the Mayor. Chicken John says he'll
have nothing bad to say about Gavin. Lonnie Holmes supports the
Redevelopment Agency's rape of the Hunters Point Ship Yard which
puts him directly at odds with the only other black candidate
(Ahimsa). Quentin Mecke is a surrogate for Matt Gonzalez.
Powers, as mentioned, is scary-creepy considering his ties to
notorious permit-fixer Jimmy Jinn who has a kind of 'Ben Quick'
reputation, if you know what I mean.
Tony Hall thinks that Harold Hoogasian is only in the race to
take votes and fundraising avenues away from him. They certainly
hate one another. Let me say that I like Hall but not his politics.
However, if Hall gets to 30% in a poll somewhere, he's getting
my full support. He'd certainly be a damned site better than Newsom.
Back when Gonzalez was a legislator, he and Hall passed ballot
measures forcing the Mayor to share power on agencies ranging
from the Department of Elections to the Planning Commission and
Board of Appeals. Hall is a genuine reformer.
Hall's real. I'm real. Sumchai is real. Josh Wolf is real. Billy
Bob is sincere. I'll need a roadmap to figure out Grasshopper
Kaplan. I'm voting for myself first, Ahimsa second and Josh third.
The rest are going to have to prove to me that they aren't just
puppets on the end of strings controlled by people I do not like.
Come to Friday's debate
I'd make the best mayor in the history of San Francisco. That's
the truth. It is literally, a miracle that I'm even on the ballot.
Because I am hated across the political spectrum from the Greens
to the Republicans and Democrats to the Libertarians to every
Uncle Tom and Juan and Lee in town.
I have nearly 50 years of experience working in every phase
of public service from fighting fires to reforming delinquents
to tearing up and repaving streets and sidewalks. You just don't
get that walking around in a $2,000 silk suit and a designer hard
The City is in bad shape physically because the people who control
the present mayor are not interested in potholes or the murder
rate. They are interested in making every dollar possible building
high-end housing and privatizing every valuable piece of public
The Mayor started his administration quoting someone who said
that you were stupid if you kept doing the same thing over and
over and expected different results. Then, he did just that.
Larry Badiner still runs the Planning Department as an adjunct
to rich developers. Mohammed Nuru makes certain potholes aren't
filled so that big contracts can be given to connected outside
contractors to pave entire blocks at a time.
Mitch Katz is still mismanaging the Department of Health and
causing untold misery. Amos Brown and the Housing Authority are
still boarding up hundreds of perfectly good apartments so that
they can be torn down and replaced by housing for the rich.
The Police and Fire Departments have gone downhill. Whatever
the Department of Emergency Services does is a secret now that
they've added: 'and Homeland Security' to their name.
Park and Rec exists only to identify properties the rich want
to seize. The Redevelopment Agency continues to plan glass skyscrapers
of up to a thousand feet and beyond. Smack in the middle of an
I promise to fire your boss!
And, their PR staff. I also promise to hire veteran City workers
to replace them. I'm talking about going all the way down to the
level of guys now digging ditches to run DPW and to working online
shrinks to run the Health Department. No political hacks.
I wouldn't hesitate to promote sergeants or patrol officers
to command positions within the SFPD. The Fire Chief is history
the first day I take office and my chief will live in the chief's
Come to Friday's debate
(bring a neighbor and a sign)
One thing missing from our first debate was campaign signs for
the individual candidates. While I have no actual campaign, a
couple of supporters have promised to have at least one 'h. brown
for Mayor' sign in the crowd. All other candidates should do the
same or much better.
There are only 78 days til election, folks. Help us convince
Newsom that he should face his opposition under his window. It
is unseemly for the Mayor of such a great City to sneak out a
basement door every Friday afternoon. You tell him so with your
Missing from the crowd:
Ross Mirkarimi (OK, he had a party going)
Every other supervisor
Every other elected official
The SF Examiner
The SF Weekly
Present in the crowd:
The San Francisco Chronicle with an open mind (I'm gonna faint)
TV channels 2, 3, 4, 5, 7 and 14
Fog City Journal
The Bay Guardian
Bay City News
An alphabet of letters of radio stations
At least 2 dozen online bloggers
Attend this Friday
For the children.
h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com,
an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h
is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and
a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email
h at email@example.com.
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