COURT JESTERINGS

With h. brown

San Francisco mayoral candidate, h. "Court Jester" Brown.
Photo(s) by Luke Thomas

Court Jester reviews second 2007 mayoral debate

By h. brown

August 25, 2007

Mayoral candidates (from left to right) Tony Hall, Billy Bob Whitmer, Quintin Mecke,
Lonnie Holmes, Ahimsa Porter Sumchai, h. brown, Harold Hoogasian, Josh Wolf, George Davis, Wilma Pang and Grasshopper Kaplan attended the 2nd 2007 Mayoral Debate
in front of San Francisco City Hall.
Photo by Luke Thomas

"Later at Temple Bar, I suggested
we change our name from 'Candidates Collaborative'
to 'Candidates Cabal,'
but it died for lack of a second."
(Notes on 2007 Mayor's Race)

No one wanted to meet in secret like Mecke and the Mayor do. Plus, George Davis is a militant exhibitionist and it would defeat the purpose of his entire campaign. Still, the 2nd Candidates Collaborative debate for the 2007 San Francisco Mayor's Race went swimmingly.

Live Video-Stream to the troops

Josh Wolf and his dad, Len Harrison worked with Luke Thomas to cut out the need for corporate TV coverage by setting up a combination live video-stream and chat room. This turned out to be a good thing because only one station showed up this week.

Technical problems with the City's SFTechConnect WiFi network prevented live transmission of the 2nd 2007 Mayoral Debate. According to a hacker source, a problem has been traced to an IP address generated inside the National Security Agency's clandestine 'splitter room,' installed inside AT&T's internet and telephone signal transmission hub on Folsom Street..

7 candidates attended

Billy Bob Whitmer was in Nashville attending to family business and will rejoin us next week. Harold Hoogasian was out of town and will also take up the mic again on the 31st. Quintin Mecke joined the Mayor, Wilma Pang and Michael Powers in boycotting the debates. I was surprised to read in the morning paper (Chron) that Quintin said:

"I'm actually here to have a substantive conversation about the issues."

Then he boycotts a debate in which the other candidates discuss the issues? Who's coaching his soccer team? 'Hello, is there anybody in there?' That just makes no sense at all. Hell, we already have a mayor who refuses to go to Question Time with the Board of Supervisors. Why would anyone believe that Mecke would be any different if he's already talking about how much he enjoys open discussion while refusing to engage in any?

Hall, Sumchai and Holmes won

In my humble opinion. They all looked and sounded mayoral. Lonnie brought his wife and children and they looked very much like a first family which is a hell of a change from the self-indulgent gell head who presently occupies the office.

Family man Lonnie Holmes with his exuberant wife Paris and their budding sons.

Josh Wolf did well and definitely has a future in politics. Grasshopper Kaplan was on his game and played some great acoustic guitar before the forum began. Pat Monk from Ahimsa's campaign and I got photographed in Kaplan's house, which is also his cab. We all ponied up a buck each to candidate Grasshopper for the gas to run the sound system he provides to the collaborative.

Grasshopper "Rasputin" Kaplan

Josh "Smash the fascist state" Wolf

h. brown and Patrick Monk check out the accoutrements
of Grasshopper Kaplan's Tardis.

Ahimsa spells out her platform seeking environmental and social justice
for all San Franciscans. Debate moderator and freelance journalist Richard Knee (left).

Naturalist George Davis holds up a copy of his raison d’être.

I 'charmed' Farrah and Elsbernd

Mike Farrah stopped by on his bicycle to chat with Krissy Keefer who was talking to Sue Vaughan. I'm still pissed at him for not even answering my pleas that the Mayor provide electricity for our sound system so that we won't have to burn gasoline. I think that mandatory public debates such as we're having should become part of the charter. I flipped big Mike the bird as he pedaled away. Marc Salomon kept insisting that the guy I'd given the 'one finger salute' wasn't Farrah and that I was a drunken pot head. While he's right about that, it was Farrah.

Yelling match with Elsbernd

Sean Elsbernd never spent a day of his life in the military and doesn't know shit about it. Yet, he cuts off discussion and gives the go-ahead for the Blue Angels, 4 high speed jet aircraft to fly inches apart right through the densest part of San Francisco. When I saw him passing I charged him to give him a piece of my mind.

And, he starts yelling at me that I was out of line for demanding that he re-open public comment on the matter and let me (a Navy veteran who served on the U.S.S. Enterprise) give expert opinion (which he and Pier were lamenting was absent in Daly's presentation) … to give expert opinion as to just how safe these aircraft actually are when they fly so low that some residents actually report looking down on them.

I challenged Sean to let me speak at the Full Board on the matter (normally you can't address matters that have been before a Board committee) and he said that he would. That should be interesting. I'm doubting big time that Peskin or Pier are gonna wanna see me woo their crowd on this matter.

I further challenge Elsbernd and Pier to have the Department of Homeland Security give their evaluation as to whether jet aircraft that can be brought down with a bucket of tinfoil or a few balloons with aluminum duct tape attached should be flying in between skyscrapers after what happened on 9-11.

I like the Blue Angels

They're a hell of a lot more fun to watch then NASCAR. My only objection is to them flying over the City. They can certainly form up in the Pacific just beyond the Golden Gate Bridge and come in from that direction to do their stunts over the million or so viewers.

I spent 8 years in uniform (3 in the Navy and 5 as a firefighter) and I'm proud of it. Anyone who wants to question my patriotism can stick their complaints up their ass. When I was a young man everyone went into the military when they got out of high school. It was considered to be your patriotic duty to do your time. Kind of like paying rent to your country and honoring all the guys and gals who risked their lives and were maimed or killed. And, in my own case, to get drunk in London, Paris, Rome and Casablanca.

To make a short story even longer, I don't want a privileged little rich girl (Pier) and a draft-dodger to be making military decisions that affect the safety of all San Franciscans. I say bring the Blue Angels back but make em do their thing over the Bay, not over the City.

h. brown for Mayor campaign

I have none but my buddy, Tony DeRenzo keeps turning up with signs and flyers and even a notebook full of pictures and my columns. I'm flattered and somewhat amazed that anyone actually pays that much attention to my efforts. Mostly, like yesterday, when I talk, people just laugh no matter what I'm talking about.

Documentary filmmaker and candidate collaborative communincations impresario
Tony DeRenzo (right).

Yesterday I used my 4 minutes of presentation time (I eschewed the part of the forum where candidates took questions from the audience cause, like Newsom, I'm afraid I might embarrass myself) … I used my comment time to tell about how San Francisco was run by a plutocracy who pulled Gavin Newsom's strings like he was a puppet.

I profiled the most powerful member of that plutocracy (one Donald Fisher) and described how he got his start enslaving children in Asia and worked his way to destroying redwoods in California and then the air in San Francisco.

h. Brown provides a brief history of Donald Fisher's sweatshops in South East Asia and his record of deforestation of California Redwoods.

The audience thought it was hilarious. I swear. They all just laughed and clapped and accused me of being an anti-Semite which isn't true at all because I like big trucks.

Anyway, we're on our way

The bottom-line reality in all of this is that if Newsom decides to take a header off the Golden Gate Bridge or one or more of the Blue Angels crashes into any building other than Aaron Peskin's house, Tony Hall will become the next Mayor of San Francisco. And Matt Gonzalez, Chris Daly and Ross Mirkarimi will die old and embittered men, near catatonic in their rocking-chairs on the porch at Laguna Honda, muttering about what cudda been.

Former San Francisco Supervisor and Treasure Island Executive Director Tony Hall,
will bring back integrity and pride to the Mayor's Office.

Wanna bet?

Marc Salomon, Tina Johnson and daughters Katie and Ali,
share a special moment with U.S. Navy veteran h. "Baby Blue" Brown
during the 2nd 2007 Mayoral Candidate Debate.

h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com, an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email h at h@ludd.net.

####

Editor's Note: Views expressed by columnists published on FogCityJournal.com are not necessarily the views or beliefs of Fog City Journal. Fog City Journal supports free speech in all its varied forms and provides a forum for a complete spectrum of viewpoints.