With h brown
Court Jester breaks down San Francisco 2006 election
November 8, 2006
"Medic! Medic!! Medicccc!!!"
(Jim Sutton reading election results)
I went to pick up Luke Thomas right before the polls closed.
We were headed to City Hall to watch the sharks watch the sharks
watching the sharks watching the sharks watching the election
Having Thomas and his camera nearby is better than having two
Sicilians with AK-47's. The camera is much more dangerous to politicians
and their manipulators. Hardly anyone will attack you if someone
is taking their picture.
The usual suspects were in attendance along with Mr. Usual Suspect
himself, Alex Clemens. The RBA's Joe Cassidy was there with 3
cheerful Irish builders. I introduced them as Misters "Shorenstein,
Fisher and Hellman". They got a kick out of it and so did
RBA members Angus McCarthy, Joe Cassidy, John O'Conner and Richard
I ragged on Tim Redmond coming into the Hall, then relented
in light of the fact that he and the Guardian
remain our primary source for truth in the printed media. I talked
to Kim Maufus whom I think was the only candidate there (congrats,
Kim) and hissed at David Latterman to keep the universe balanced.
Luke's camera went on the blink when we were trying to take Chris
Bowman's picture (Republicans do that). I ragged on Gavin's Board
liaison Wade Crowfoot about how the Board should sustain the
mayor's veto of their foot patrol legislation and let him
bring on his 'plan'. I taunted Eric Steinberg, head of the City
Hall Audio Visual Department about the early returns showing the
Democrats winning congress.
I got photographed with Charles Kalish who said he was scared
to go to Krissy's party because he hadn't done a single thing
for her this race but hadn't helped anyone until 2 weeks ago when
the Daly sirens started wailing.
The Court Jester is photographed with Charles Kalish.
I kept trying to figure out who was winning and who was losing
and why and looking forward to the rum cake and champagne. Lemme
see now, how did it all turn out?
Jim Sutton was the biggest loser in yesterday's election. He
was also the biggest winner. That's the way things go around these
parts. Don't try to understand it, just take my word for it. Simply
put, he spent more money on losing causes than anyone in town.
That's his downside. On the upside, he spent more money on losing
causes than anyone in town. Money; there's just something about
Time to put the wealthy South American yachtsman out to pasture.
Keefer beat 7 of his 9 state and federal candidates and lost to
the other 2 by less than 1%. Peter is not just a loser. He's a
He swore he'd bring down Daly. Turns out he gave all that money
to SFSOS for nothing. In a just world, he'd do a Steinbrenner
and fire Wade Randlett and Ryan Chamberlain and bring in Jack
Davis and Rob Anderson to crush those bike riding anarchists.
Hey, I like Gavin. I really do. But, face it, this guy's had
a tough season. His wife divorced him and is gloriously happy
with her new hubby and a new bambino. You gotta sympathize with
his inability to hold onto a starlet or model. Word is he's been
drinking waaay tooo much (I hear you, Mr. Mayor).
Then, the cops told him to jam it and Shorenstein bitch-slapped
him on the C3 parking legislation. Now, it turns out that, as
suspected, he can't pick candidates either. Who would have thought
that a half million or so in lipstick couldn't make Rob Black
look like Madonna?
Hell, Black would have had a better chance of winning if he'd
dressed in drag and dated Pat Murphy for the entire campaign.
Buy me a drink, Gavin and I'll give you some advice: All 6 of
my wives left me for other guys, so I can, like, relate.
Send your prayers (if you do that) and best thoughts out to
Hero Hampton, born 2 days ago with some chest cavity problems
that necessitated surgery. All looks well but best vibes to Adriel,
wife Yuki and little Hero.
Christ, that's a change of pace isn't it? Things like that should
give you perspective, I guess.
The most dangerous activist to turn candidate since Chris Daly
7 years ago. She's a great speaker and writer and a tremendous
stage presence. Every glam moment of the just passed campaign
season came from the Keefer camp led by Sue Vaughan and Susan
King and Denise D'Anne. From primary election day when she and
her Taiko pounding dancers decorated a motor home and welcomed
Mayor Newsom to Medjools, to her performances at Mani-Festi-Val
the weekend before the vote.
You don't get many better days than John had yesterday. The
Burton family had a lock on the California District 8 representative
to the U.S. Congress (big brother Phil who built the machine with
Willie Brown held the seat first, then John himself, then Phil's
widow, Sala - I might have the order wrong, but bottom line is
that the Burton machine has held that office for over 30 years).
Eddie Epstein of the Chron waxes poetic about John going to Sala's
deathbed and getting the word that Pelosi was her choice in the
succession. Now, Sala's protege' will be the first female Speaker
of the House. John's protege's aren't doing badly either. First,
there's Fiona Ma.
She's headed for the state assembly having completed her middle
years interning (after a stint in John's office) at the SF Board
of Supes. Big John (did you know he was like some kind of All
American basketball player or something at SF State before he
went to Hastings?)
Anyway, John funded and guided Fiona Ma into the state legislature
and Chris Daly back for another 4 more years. John is certainly
the wizard behind the SF Progressive curtain at this point. Notice,
as one reader pointed out, that Daly didn't endorse Adachi when
Jeff was running against Burton's daughter, Kimiko.
Congratulations to the current Burton patriarch.
An argument could easily be made that Kim is now the top dog
of the Gang Green. At 29 years of age and already head of the
SFPO, Kim got 8 times the votes Ross Mirkarimi received in attaining
his first elective office.
Jane Kim (left)with jailed
journalist Josh Wolf
and San Francisco wi-fi guru Kimo Crossman.
The Fog City Journal chief was locked out of the SanFranciscoSentinel.com
less than 60 days ago and rebounded immediately to create his
own publication which now rules this band of the local political
scene. The piano/guitar playing composer also found time to follow
Mayor's Office of Economic Development deputy, Rich Hillis, into
The adorable Rachael (top) and Elsa Thomas-McAllister, born 6/11/6.
Congrats yet again to Bevan Dufty who also took that route. Shit,
I guess I'm not the only one in town not getting any pussy.
Supervisors Bevan Dufty and Michela Alioto-Pier get snuggly with
Dufty's new progeny, Sidney Maely Goldfader-Dufty, at Tuesday's
Board of Supervisors meeting.
Sidney was born 10/2/6.
The former Sierra Club prez got more votes than any Green in
the City, pulling down 47,422 tallies and a share of 17.66% in
his run for Community College Board.
Who managed to get water out rocks in being the second most
popular Green per capita in the City. The retired maven got 13.94%
of the available vote in the Gobi desert of Fiona Ma land.
Ran up 22,000 votes and a 41.75% share in a BART board race
against Republican, James Fang whose family owns newspapers and
politicians up the ying yang. It took a last minute Chronicle
campaign of lies and deception to beat Drennen.
Want to know just how special San Francisco is and how lucky
you are to live here? Go to sfgov.org/election.
Go to state propositions. Start clicking on the far right column
that reads: 'Maps'. It's a representation of what the people in
California's 50 or so counties feel about things like 'parental
consent vs. right to choice' and public financing of state races
and whether to tag George Michael. And, great thing is, the maps
are color coded by political opinion and stamped with percentage
breakdowns of how many in each area voted yey or ney.
Most of the charts are pretty much what you'd figure. Progressive
voters seek the ocean. San Francisco, Marin and Santa Cruz are
the most liberal voters across the board with Mendocino County
just a hair back.
But, there were two issues state voters in every single jurisdiction
agreed upon. Except us. Those are: 'Public financing of state
political races' and 'Tagging sex offenders'. Only San Francisco
favored balancing the playing field for 3rd party and beyond candidates
for state office. And, only San Francisco thought tagging George
Michael was a bad idea.
You gotta look at those two charts. SF is this little tiny Green
speck in the center of this enormous red sea of greed and intolerance.
It made me proud and a bit scared at the same time. Like lots
of you, I'm under constant pressure from the forces of gentrification
and what's past our City limits? A sea of red.
h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com,
an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h
is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and
a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email
h at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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