COURT JESTERINGS

With h brown

Photo(s) by Luke Thomas

Court Jester looks at Green Party uncivil war

By h. brown

December 1, 2006

"What do you mean, Cat and Nicole and Chuck didn't invite you?"

(Eileen chastizes Keefer)

What will people forgive in their leaders? Just about anything. Priests molest young boys and go free. Mildly retarded presidents start wars for oil and tell their supporters 'hang in there'. A family member murders a cop and the family fills the courtroom at his trial and blames the cop. The local Green Party icon shows his sexist ass to all and his worshipers blame his victim. What the fuck's going on here?

Erasing the sins of Matt Gonzalez

Along those lines (picking a leader at any level is a very important process) ... along those lines, I wouldn't vote for Matt Gonzalez for dog catcher until he issues a public apology to Krissy Keefer for double-crossing her in this past election cycle. That ain't gonna happen cause Gonzo is a total egomaniac and egomaniacs don't admit their errors.

I'm sitting here looking at three invitations from powers within the Gonzalez machine. Not so oddly, none of the invitations went to Krissy Keefer. You can be rest assured that every other Green Party candidate in the just-passed election season was invited to these festivities. They didn't invite Keefer because you don't invite the rape victim to a party honoring the rapist. Derse and Cat and Chuck all define their cachet around the Gonzalez legend and none have the will or balls to call him to task for what he did to Krissy. They simply cut her from their list of friends in their spineless and deluded manias and pray that Saint Matt will come and bless their gatherings.

I predict indigestion.

I seek advice from Eileen Left

Eileen: (painting her toenails as she sits - grinning - in my fire escape window)

"There's no way you'll print that. (gesturing...) I DARE you to print that."

Jester: (lighting cheap cigar, taking shot of bourbon)

"I'll print it on the Bulldog if I have to. Honestly, Krissy's the only one who's kept me from going after this bastard earlier. Krissy, Luke, and Arthur keep telling me to go light on the prick. (hits cigar again) I don't understand it."

Eileen: (laughing while pouring a glass of an '80 Rodney Strong Cabernet & lighting a joint)

"It's business with Luke and Arthur. They're reporters and they don't want to be cut off from a valuable source. All the rest are women or family. The women are all praying he'll suddenly realize that they are 'the one' and take them with him to the White House. And, don't blame Chuck; family is, well, ... family."

Jester: (firing up bowl of 'Silver Haze') "Thanks for the idea of responding to 'SF Sweetie' by the way. We got a couple of thousand hits and were able to revive the Wall."

Eileen: (wraps a large knitted black shawl she wore into the room around her legs as she swings her legs out onto the fire escape - she's sitting on the window ledge)

"You need dip shits like Arthur Evans and Rob Anderson leaving 'lobs at the net' for you 24 hours a day. People were forgetting them. You've been like a hot fighter who can't get a new opponent cause they're scared shitless of you. Sometimes you have to prop up an old adversary just to have someone to punch. (takes a hit of the joint and looks at him typing on the laptop Adam Aufdencamp gifted him).

"Get back on point. Krissy wasn't the only one attacked over this last election cycle. What about Dorenkott threatening Marc Salomon?"

Jester: (shrugs)

"Salomon would have left him bleeding at the curb. What did Gore Vidal say? You remember, when William F. Buckley took a swing at him? ... Yeah, he said, 'Once again, words fail Bill.' Definitely one of my favorite quotes."

Eileen: (shakes head)

"Great quote, OK, but I think it was Norman Mailer who took the swing. (pauses and looks back into the room). Why didn't you say something when Bruzzone asked Jens if he was Eileen Left?"

Arthur Bruzzone of SF/Unscripted (left) quizzes Brown compadre Jens Nielsen for Eileen Left identity clues.

Jester: (cocks head at her in mild surprise)

"You honestly want people to know you're real?"

"When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose." (Bob Dylan)

I'm probably the only uncensored voice in local politics because I really and truly have nothing to lose. And, I have a plethora of time in which to consume and measure the activities of the local elite, be they political, or the masters of same. Pretty much everyone but me needs the power structure to survive.

In that light, let me give you a few 'uncensored' thoughts.

1. ... to be continued ...

Today at Salon, Matt Gonzalez will give a speech: "If I fucked over Krissy Keefer ... why I did it."

h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com, an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email h at h@ludd.net.

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