COURT JESTERINGS

With h brown

Photo(s) by Luke Thomas

China First

(name of restaurant on Clement)

By h. brown

February 27, 2007

I don't like the Chinese government one single friggin' bit and it totally pisses me off that they were able to force the Falun Gong out of the Chinese New Year's parade. Any politician who rides in that parade without first proclaiming their sympathy for the plight of the Falun Gong shouldn't be supported by Progressives when they run for re-election.

So Hillary wouldn't let reps from two local Chinese newspapers cover her fundraiser because they're "foreign"? Could this be another case of the Peoples Republic flexing their political muscle again? Was the snub intentional and guided by Beijing? The bastards butcher the Falun Gong for their organs, then are able to ban them from a parade in San Francisco? It all sucks. We'll see if any of the Board mentions the Falun Gong today in Roll Call for Introductions. As they will surely decry the treatment of the World Journal and Sing Tao. Incidentally, great story on the matter in this morning's Chronicle by Vanessa Hua.

Oh, and by the way, how long do you think a restaurant would last in this town if it were called 'America First' … or, God forbid, 'Mexico First'?

Garcia's glaring hypocrisy

Isn't it odd how so many threads in this town lead back to the same ball of twine? I'm talking about Sacred Heart Academy and the sense of entitlement felt by some of their graduates, like Ken Garcia.

Ken Garcia

Ken went to Sacred Heart, you know. He mentioned it once in a column in which he defended the Sacred Heart graduates who went on to the Marine Corps, then came home for Christmas leave and amused themselves by crashing a party and then ambushing and assaulting a bunch of choir boys. You go, you brave, brave Marines!!!

Ken thought it was just awful that anyone would want to prosecute these American heroes for such a little thing and they shouldn't be arrested because, after all, they went to Sacred Heart and Sacred Heart has always had a close relationship to the SFPD. Plus, they're back on duty in the Corps and you'd have to fly them back to face charges.

And, that sense of entitlement I mentioned isn't just for the big issues like aggravated assault and hate crimes, which the thugs from Sacred Heart rained down upon the Yalies in Choirgate.

Nope, it extends to his daughter when she's busted for having an expired transfer. No punishment needed here. Wait, he did say that she should have been reprimanded and that's it. Hate crimes, assault and petty theft should be excused if the accused has ties to Sacred Heart Academy? No other way to read it. Let's see how Kamala Harris handles this one.

Jim Hammer for District Attorney

You remember Hammer as Hallinan's top gun. I was in a jury pool (not accepted) and watched him work for a week. The guy is cool and knows his way around a courtroom. He got a conviction and it was a murder case.

From there, the ex-Jesuit (wonder if he went to Sacred Heart?) took on the 'dog maul' case and put two sleazy lawyers in prison for terrorizing their neighbors with their huge canine killing machines, which finally killed a jogging neighbor.

Hammer's got the credentials. Kamala Harris doesn't. Now, we have the perfect chance for Harris to prove me wrong. Since Hammer is representing the Yalie choir guys in seeking justice for the Sacred Heart thugs, she can show that she truly won't accept this kind of violence, particularly of the hate crime nature.

She can steal Hammer's thunder by having these guys arrested, wherever in the world they may be and bringing them back her for a trial that she herself will prosecute. Now, that would show us that you don't tolerate hate crimes and that you aren't intimidated by the Sacred Heart gang.

Here's what D.A. Harris will do

She'll leave the homophobic Marines from Sacred Heart alone and go after the skinny insane kid from New York who pulled Elie Wiesel out of the elevator. That's because who gets prosecuted in this town is a political decision made by Harris, herself. She and her consultants will try to make this her 'dog maul' equivalent. Wiesel wasn't injured and the kid seems to be truly nuts, but Elie is one of the most prominent Jews in the world and the pressure to hang this kid must be coming from all directions.

Disclaimer

I believe in the holocaust. I believe very much in all of the holocausts, present and past. Wiesel should have a bodyguard and if it weren't for my disposition, I'd be glad to protect him with my life.

That's why, if I'd been guarding Wiesel in that hotel and some nut had put his hands on him, I'd have assumed the kid was a suicide bomber and I'd have shot holes in the kid's head until I ran out of bullets. Recall, the London police did exactly that to a guy for just that reason. But, hey, that's just me.

Let's see Harris go after and personally prosecute both of these cases. That will show that she really does abhor hate crimes, no matter who commits them.

Murphy brings down Ragone

In a move that surprised no one in the know, Mayor Newsom removed long-time friend, Peter Ragone, as his Press Secretary. Faced with a front page threat from the much revered publisher of the San Francisco Sentinel (Pat said he wouldn't speak with Ragone or publish any releases from the Mayor's Communications Office), Newsom had little choice but to can Ragone. Who's next? I'm just glad I've always been on good terms with Murphy.

Pat Murphy

Jam-fest on Bernal

1. Roasted celery root soup w/sassafras
2. Roasted asparagus w/Dungeness crab meat and garlic salt
3. Phyllo pastry w/Syrian truffles, goat cheese and spinach
4. Dessert was lemon (du maison) marangue pie
5. Re-dessert was rhubarb/strawberry pie

That was the menu. A virtual bee's nest moved throughout the kitchen and living areas, alternating dish-washing duties, prep work, trash duty, more dish washing (25 ate and utensils and dishware were constantly recycled).

The jam in the basement was the real deal though. Did you know that if I drink enough martinis made with homemade vodka and vermouth, that I'm able to play the piano like Jerry Lee Lewis?

Well, I can't. Somebody (equally drunk) came downstairs to say that though. Unbelievably, the basement of the house has a small stage with a complete sound system, a baby grand piano, house drum set and any number of guitars and other instruments. Everyone took turns jamming even if, like me, they'd never struck a note in their lives.

Luke Thomas, Andy Blue, Jeremy on bass, lots of folks who don't want their names in my column. Nicole Derse was there. Charles Kalish was back from skiing for 2 months in Japan and looks 20 years younger. Absolutely everyone gossiped like mad as to whether he had cosmetic surgery. Petty jealousy. Pure green monster. Wait til you see him. For a while there, our conversation sank to the Dede Wilsey level.

That's enuff for today, watch the Board. Peskin's trying to get the members of the Planning Commission to stay for entire meetings. That should scoot through. He's sweetening the offer with another 150 bucks a month in stipend which is well and good. It's being called a 'Dwight Alexander' measure. Jake is trying to get the Board behind cuts for fast passes for 18-24 year-olds. If that passes, maybe Ken Garcia's kid won't have to 'jump the turnstile' anymore.

See if anyone says anything about the expulsion of the Falun Gong from the parade. See if anyone condemns Samson Wong and the Asian Week he edits for Florence Fang. Published a fab piece on why it's OK for Asians to hate blacks. Hey asshole, my grandkids are African-Americans, if that kind of racism is OK, can the rest of us get xenophobic on your ass? We could start by boycotting 'China First'?

Here we go.

h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com, an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email h at h@ludd.net.

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