With h. brown
San Francisco mayoral candidate, h. "Court Jester" Brown.
Court Jester lays out his vision for San Francisco
October 3, 2007
"Do you love me a whole bunch, a bunch,
or a little bunch?"
(Bulldog poll numbers not encouraging)
Thanks to 'Petertherabbit' on Michael Ege's 'Wall' for passing
on the particulars of this poll. I'd say it's a watershed document
as 'Pete' notes. My guess is it's a benchmark kind of thing seeking
to see just how successful the gentrification of San Francisco
is proceeding. Note that virtually every issue is of major concern
to the plutocrats who run the City. When you're playing Sim City
with real cities, you need correct numbers every now and then
apart from the PR and push poll garbage. I bet you a beer that
this poll had the largest sampling of any local poll of the last
4 years. Look it over and analyze it, and see what you think the
people who fielded it were thinking.
Peter's rendition on the wall
1. Will you approve a $250 per year parcel tax?
2. Will you approve a $990 million bond for SF General Hospital?
3. Will you approve a $75 million bond for the zoo?
4. Will you approve Prop D Parks Bond to pay for city debts.
5. Who will you vote for? Leno, Veronese or Migden?
6. Do you think the San Francisco is going in the direct direction?
7. Is the Board of Supervisor doing a good job? Yes or no?
8. Is Newsom doing a good job? Yes or no? Is your yes or no answer,
strongly, not so strongly, not quite strongly or could change?
9. Is Newsom right in suspending Ed Jew?
10. Is your household a union or non union?
11. Is any of your household member a union member?
12. What is your race?
13. Are you a heterosexual, gay or lesbian?
14. Are you a progressive, liberal, moderate, conservative?
15. Are you are renter or a home owner?
16. Do you think the Library Commission is doing a good job?
17. Do you think the Rec and Park is doing a good job?
18. Can I use your name just in case my supervisor asks?
I didn't edit the list and I'm amazed Peter could recall so
much. I should note that a follow-up poster on the Wall said that
they got the same poll but that although they live in the State
Senate D-8 (Leno, et. al.) that they didn't get a question on
next year's race. If you got the poll, join the conversation on
the Wall and I'll read you there.
How predictable are you?
"Even the most brilliant intellect is
a prisoner within their own cultural heritage."
(Isaac Hogben - British mathematician)
If I know the way you think, I can beat you at poker. I can
steal your company, or your girlfriend. I can drive you insane.
Or, I can just get right down to it and send your children off
to die in a war for oil which profits me, and you'll still think
it's OK (enough of you will, anyway). Oh yeah, there's lots of
power in the capacity to predict human behavior and I've been
onto it since before the computer age. In fact, here's a quote
from the seminal book that predicted serious polling, before anyone
ever heard the name Gallup.
"If I can get you to answer a dozen questions,
I can tell you how you voted in the last 3 Presidential Elections,
and why, and how, you'll vote next."
(From 'The 480' by Ledderer and Burdick)
These two guys (Burdick and Ledderer) wrote the 'Ugly American'
together before they wrote the '480'. They were into evaluating
foreign policy and even as a teen, so was I.
They wrote that pretty much every single American could be fit
into 480 individual categories from the more critical, such as
the color of your skin or your sexual orientation or your material
possessions, all the way down to your taste in music. Their point
was (as it remains) to create candidates who appealed to the broadest
range of likely voters.
They had it down to 12 questions. Whoever did this poll used
18 and the vanity questions they floated (library and zoo?) gave
away the source of the funding for the poll. These are people
who could easily fund all of the projects they're asking if you'd
mind funding (and, they'll fully control the physical facilities
of these places -as they already do - after you upgrade them for
the local aristocrats)
they could pay for it, but they'd
rather you do it and then they'll get the Mayor and Aaron Peskin
to deed the shit over to them for 50 years or so. That's what
this poll is really about.
"Wherefore art thou, Bruce Brugmann?"
(wounded, I lash out in anger)
Hey, I'm accustomed to being ignored. I'm old and ugly and poor
and kind of a paranoid grouch. Still, my feelings were hurt when
I picked up the morning Bay Guardian online and found that they'd
made their endorsements without even interviewing me. What up,
Why I cudda kicked ass in the 45 minutes they gave each of the
chosen people. I mean, Grasshopper put a can of his own feces
and a banana peel on Ed Jew's front porch and they interviewed
him. And, in their online poll, they shuffled alphabetical listing
of candidates by first name? Is that so my name won't be first?
And, why is John Rinaldi, 'Chicken John,' but I can't have my
I left messages all over the Bay Guardian offices this morning
but the secretaries' say that the senior staff don't come in until
11am or later. How the hell can they claim to be fair and balanced
when they censor a voice like mine?
Ahhh, face it, I'm much hated in this town and for more than
a few good reasons. Still, I'm by far the most knowledgeable candidate
(including the mayor) and the public should have been allowed
to see such ideas as:
h. brown's Public Safety stand
I'm the only candidate who ever wore a badge or drove an emergency
vehicle. I'm the only candidate who has been in the Navy and worked
next to aircraft like those flown by the Blue Angels.
I'm the only candidate with an advanced education degree specializing
in reforming the 'Severely Emotionally Disturbed' (not a pretty
I fought fires for years and I'm an expert in emergency communications.
I'm betting I'm the only candidate who knows and can communicate
in CW (for 'continuous wave' - OK, Morse Code).
I'm comfortable standing on a pile of rubble, and I'm as cool
as a cucumber under pressure. I know how to hook a line of pumper
fire trucks in tandem and get water from the Bay to Nob Hill.
I've taught murderers in locked-down detention facilities, and
I've saved lives by clearing airways of vomit and doing mouth-to-mouth
My reform package
Totally alter deployment of police forces
Foot patrols work. They bring down the murder rate. Single officer
foot patrols. The alienation of law enforcement officers from
the public they are sworn to serve, began when departments abandoned
the single officer foot patrol and went to 'One Adam Twelve'.
Newsom's plan for reform does not have a prayer of bringing down
the murder rate, because he leaves the power of designing deployment
schemes with a high command that is more concerned about the safety
of the officers than the safety of the citizenry. As long as station
captains have the option of not fielding single officer patrols,
you'll see fewer of them.
Hey, Delugnuts, I'm not denying it's dangerous for one of your
cops to walk alone in my neighborhood, but think of how it is
for everyone else who has to walk our dangerous streets - they
don't have a gun to protect themselves!
We have more and better-educated cops than at anytime in SFPD
history. They're better paid, armed and equipped. They have superior
communications. And yet, there are fewer cops on the street. What's
up with that?
The POA has succeeded in getting their boys removed from all
the dangerous jobs and putting them behind desks whenever possible.
It is the job of any union after all, to secure their membership
the highest salary and benefits packages possible with the least
physical risk to their membership.
Unfortunately, as the cops back away from dangerous situations
(flying helicopters, manning high crime area kiosks, riding buses
etcetera), it gets more dangerous for we people who must traverse
those areas alone.
The police union has to be forced to get back into the business
of single officer patrols, and that is not going to happen under
this mayor. Mayor Gavin Newsom doesn't anything about emergency
services (I was also an Emergency Medical Technician for 5 years)
Gavin knows nothing about Public Safety, and hands control
of the agencies to the brass and station captains with the cops
and, as regards the SFFD (I was a firefighter for 5 years), to
the totally miss-guided fire chief.
We need to return to a foot patrol deployment similar to those
the City employed in the 1950's. The early '50's. We have 300
too many officers doing jobs that could be done less expensively
That's 300 more officers, already on the force, that could be
redeployed on the streets to help to deter more wonton bloodshed.
We need to bring our neighborhood 'Patrol Specials' back up
to full strength (we can have 400, but and we have 40 - Police
Union is killing them)
that's another 400 who could be
walking foot beats.
Imagine taking another 500 cops or more and putting them on
single officer foot patrols. That's possible. But with the present
paradigm, it ain't never gonna happen. We need to get our own
cops back on the beat and then go for the gold. We could and should
be the center the entire planet turns to when horrible things
"San Francisco always sends help!"
We should become the 'masters of disasters'. We should expand
our training facilities on Treasure Island, build more and create
an internationally acclaimed school there attended by emergency
personnel from all over the world (including military). No matter
what happens to your city or village, some graduate of the SF
Disaster Response Center is likely to have had experience in the
We should work to become the permanent home of the Police and
Fire Olympics, or create our own version. We should strive to
exchange 200 of our cops and firefighters with sister cities around
the world where they'll spend a year learning those cities, their
languages and how they meet emergencies.
Imagine. The City will always be alive with different uniforms
from public safety personnel from all over the world. In 10 short
years we will have trained 2,000 foreign-based responders.
We should have equipment and men and women at the scene of a
calamity anywhere in the world within 24 hours. That's the kind
of thing we'll become famous for under an h. brown administration,
not having the most million dollar condos.
I favor a moratorium on all housing construction that is not
for the homeless and poor until these populations are properly
housed. I favor construction of hundreds of the little 'Jim Reid'
houses that candidate Reid built his own run for mayor around.
We have plenty of small and odd-shaped parcels owned by the City
where these things can be constructed, and they are cheap as hell.
The City should never sell land as surplus because, as Will
Rogers said: "It's the only thing they aren't building more
of." We should implement the Land Trust model proposed by
Henry George in San Francisco over a hundred years ago. Remove
the value of the land upon which a structure sits from the possibility
of speculation, and housing for the poor becomes possible. The
City must do this and the City has the 15-20% of the property
needed for this permanent adventure.
The San Francisco economy is based upon two pylons rooted in
quicksand. First is tourism. Our nearly 8 billion dollar tourist
industry will evaporate in the smoke of one car bomb. It has taken
the tourist industry 6 years to recover from 9/11 and that happened
3,000 miles away.
The other tenuous source of income is office buildings. We should
never, ever build another one. It is the nature of corporations
to always look for cheaper digs. The City has given sweetheart
deals to favored builders such as Lennar and URS and John Stewart
by which the Redevelopment Agency pays for infrastructure that
the developers should be paying for.
Corporations have no heart or soul. When you brag about Bank
of America being a business born in San Francisco, just remember
they sold out and moved to North Carolina for a better deal.
We should become a City based upon schools and the innovation
they bring. The empty SFUSD buildings should be shopped as SF
homes to schools the world over.
We should become the alternative energy leader of the planetm
but first we need to seize back the power from our Hetch-Hetchy
asset and run PG&E out of town (their home office is also
in North Carolina). We should overrule Mark Leno's plan to give
the hundred million in solar panels approved by SF voters for
the tops of SF buildings to PG&E who want to build them out
of town on the Hetch-Hetchy right-of-way and ship the power to
We should join together to construct a variety of tidal power
stations and keep a raft of lawyers in federal and state courts
to secure the rights to favorable trenches in the Bay.
We need to sell a half billion in revenue bonds to provide fiber
optic communications to every single unit in San Francisco from
the top of the Mark Hopkins to the lowliest Jim Reid house. You
never know where the next Hewlitt or Packard are going to be living
- and Mayor Newsom's plans for a partnership with Google would
have given a limited service that is 300 times slower than is
available all over Tokyo, and cost customers twice as much.
Jim Lazarus who was Feinstein's chief of staff when she was
mayor says that the City's wealthy now control 70% of the City's
parks. I doubt he's exaggerating. The biggest plunderer of the
system is the Fisher family. Their grabs are growing exponentially.
I've written about the sins of this family for years. They've
been charged with employing child slave-labor at their factories
in Southeast Asia and paid millions in fines for same. They've
teamed with Pacific Lumber and Maxam Corporation to level the
redwoods in Northern California. They have an issue on November's
ballot promoting the destruction of trees and the removal of bus
stops and bicycle lanes (among other things) to add tens of thousands
of parking spaces throughout San Francisco. Imagine trying to
get around with another 40,000 cars roaming the streets.
I wrote about Aaron Peskin guiding through a measure that will
eventually give all of the City's soccer fields (and, I sold them
short - other park areas also) to the Fisher family to manage
as they want. A neighborhood activist told me last week of going
to a meeting at which Park and Rec feigned seeking local input
into a new synthetic surface they are going to put over a local
park. When queried as as to how local farmers markets and other
neighborhood events would be able to erect stalls on the new surface,
the Rec and Park spokesperson turned surly and told them they
had no choice nor input.
Don't vote for any of these park bonds. If the past has taught
us nothing, it should have taught us that the rich merely use
your money to beautify public property before deeding it over
Folks, I know these issues. I've written a thousand columns
on them and I've studied every crooked-assed contract that made
its way from exploitive developers on down through the Board.
I am the only serious alternative for Mayor
With 47 years of working with a variety of public agencies from
digging holes in the ground to running developmental programs
and scrutinizing public officials, I'm the only candidate who
knows who the hell to fire and who the hell to hire. In an h.
brown administration, that's what will be happening first.
70 workouts and counting
The mayor and his staff haven't had an original idea since they
entered office. It is the nature of such beasts that they are
sterile. Mostly, they steal mine or some of the Greens. They dilute
them to 1% of their effective dosage and make a photo-op claiming
the mayor is their author.
Thus, I wasn't surprised to hear that the mayor had read my
columns and was being photographed on the Embarcadero this morning
(images on buses to follow) urging San Franciscans to copy h.
brown and get in shape by walking the Bay from Downtown to the
Bridge. Oh wait, in the interim, it became Gavin's idea.
Bronstein, Shaw and Brugmann in league?
I don't need public acclaim or exposure. In my life, I've had
plenty of that. My ideas do need to reach the voters and the total
blackout of my candidacy by the media doesn't help them. I may
not have a chance to win the mayor's race, but I am certainly
a more serious candidate than a guy who craps on people's front
stoops. Why in the world would these 3 guys black me out? What
do they have in common? Is this a conspiracy to keep my ideas
from you? Why, oh why, would they do that?
Another beautiful day in the best City on Earth.
h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com,
an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h
is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and
a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email
h at email@example.com.
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