The CrackBerry Chronicles
With Elaine Santore
June 24, 2007
Don't cry for me, San Francisco!
I used to tell my friends that someday I would live in an apartment
with a balcony, so I could shout to the world, "We've made
Instead, I shouted that over h. Brown's balcony during the Gay
Pride Parade. But I should've said, "We've (kind of) made
Elaine Santore as Eva Peron.
Fog City Journal loves a parade:
Jon Han, Elaine Santore, and h. Brown.
For those of you living in a cave, it was Gay Pride weekend in
San Francisco and a couple of other cities that don't matter.
This morning, Luke Thomas and I attended the Alice
B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club breakfast with First Lady hopeful,
Edwards at the Sir Francis Drake Hotel. The night before,
I was informed that Mayor Gavin Newsom and District Attorney Kamala
Harris would be there.
In light of my last
column and Fog City's editorial,
I responded, "That might be awkward," but I don't let
potential awkwardness get in the way of free food and mimosas.
Luke and I showed up fashionably late, and managed to get seats
at a table full of John Edwards 2008 supporters. While we were
eating breakfast, we spotted SFGate culture blogger Beth
Spotswood and waived.
SFGate Culture Blogger Beth Spotswood and Elaine Santore.
State Senator Carole Migden took the stage, and asked the crowd
why they weren't giving her more applause. Awkward.
State Senator Carole Migden
The highlight of the morning was watching Supervisors Tom Ammiano,
Bevan Dufty, and Aaron Peskin take the stage. Ammiano said of
Peskin, "He really lives where he says he lives. I know because
I took a shower with him." This was, of course, in reference
to their embattled colleague, District 4 Supervisor Ed Jew.
Ammiano added, "In terms of pride, I think Newsom and Daly
should celebrate gay pride and have make-up sex. Don't you?"
Supervisors Tom Ammiano, Bevan Dufty, and Board President Aaron
Which begs the question: "Who would be the top?" Hmmm
Then Dufty took the mike and said that ever since Peskin posed
in a Speedo
Francisco magazine, gay men keep asking to be introduced to
Peskin instead. Oh, Buffy!
District 8 Supervisor Bevan Dufty with State Assemblymember Fiona
I was busy looking for another mimosa when Newsom plunked himself
down two seats away from me. He looked flustered in his ruffled
suit, explaining how his handlers left him waiting in the lobby
by himself and that's why he was late. Sounds like somebody was
asleep at the switch.
Treasurer Jose Cisneros spoke, assuring the crowd that he had
$4 billion in his possession for gays. Then he introduced Assessor
Phil Ting as "my partner in crime." Never one to miss
an opportunity to crack a corny joke, Newsom said, "$4 billion?
Partner in crime?" Tragically, I laughed. But it was a mercy
Treasurer Jose Cisneros.
Assessor Phil Ting.
Yes, bloggers can get along
When Newsom left our table to give his speech, Spotswood darted
to the seat next to me. "I can't believe he sat right next
to you!" Beth kept looking at Newsom's Starbucks cup. "Do
you think he's going to come back for his coffee?" she asked.
Unfortunately, Newsom did not come back to the table to retrieve
his coffee cup, as it was already empty. (I think we all knew
who took it home with her
Spotswood inquired about my recent encounter with mayoral girlfriend
Siebel, whom the satirist refers to as "Swiss Miss."
("She was nice to you?" "Yes.") And other
girl-talk that my gentleman publisher would rather not, well,
Never one to miss the opportunity to stage a dramatic photo-op,
I grabbed Newsom's arm and said, "Gavin, do you know Beth
Beth Spotswood cozies up to her #1 crush, Mayor Gavin Newsom.
Speaking of bloggers, I must take time to give a shout-out to
my friend Damion Matthews, who edits the society and fashion blog
SFLuxe. In the wake of the
San Francisco Chronicle Swells society columnist Catherine Bigelow's
off, SFLuxe might be the only game in town for those of us
who follow the lifestyles of San Francisco's social set.
This week, he single-handedly solved the mystery
of Valleywag's "Freaky Mogul of Pac Heights," and found
some photos of Anne
Getty looking like less of an Australian's nightmare in a
1981 issue of Vogue.
Pride in the name of love
Like most young girls in San Francisco, I made my first gay BFF
when I was around eight years old. This led to a lifetime (well,
for my twenty-four years, anyway) of close gay male friends. Unfortunately,
I had to recently retire from faghagdom, as it's a lonely life
for a straight woman.
In honor of pride, I'm sending out a thousand kisses to all my
LGBT friends across America. Keep making life beautiful!
Love the parasol.
CrackBerry Not So Blind Item
Which incumbent declined to be photographed with Elizabeth Edwards
after the Toklas breakfast? Could it be because he's secretly
endorsing another Democratic presidential candidate instead?
Which blogger/advoscribe was overheard saying, "I'm not
12 years old, Beth, I'm the same age as you!"