Bloodied zombies out-zombie
San Francisco mayoral candidates debate
Santore and Luke
October 15, 2007
If last Thursday's League of Women Voters debate proved anything,
it was that the public loves debates. However, being surrounded
by Newsom Kool-Aiders, as well as being in such close proximity
to media hacks, haters, groupies and recruited zombies, was almost
too much for me to bear. My apologies to the well-mannered zombies
(seriously - they were really nice) I chastised for getting fake
blood on my new coat; y'all were just doing your job.
As most of you probably know, Newsom showed up late. There's
nothing wrong with that; it's the only way to make an entrance.
Not to be outdone, Mike Powers showed up later than Newsom. Who's
gonna notice your outfit if you show up on time? Duh.
There's only one thing we do at Fog City Journal when we've got
tons of amazing photos but no real story. You guessed it: Caption
Mayoral Debate Moratorium Edition
Mayoral candidate h. brown slaps some skin with Mayor Gavin Newsom,
minutes before brown ripped Newsom two new ones.
Who's prettier here? Gavin Newsom sports his signature blue tie,
while Quintin Mecke leaves his signature pink shirt at home.
This chick was not interesting. Moving on...
Grok this: Josh Wolf is my water brother.
After Newsom breezes in fashionably late, more time is wasted
with an explanation about Ranked Choice Voting. Introduced by
lefties, RCV is designed to increase voter participation, reduce
election costs and generally make voting more complicated.
Candidates MIA: Grasshopper Alec Kaplan arrived late after being
hunted down by Cagney and Lacy at the Taxi Commission; Michael
Powers forgot to set his alarm clock
What's the most pressing issue facing San Francisco?
h. brown fires off his first salvo: "This mayor runs away
from newspaper reporters' questions; he runs away from the Board
of Supervisors and we have another measure
up in front of the voters now to make him talk to us. How do you
get the mayor to talk to us? Vote against him." Duh.
George Davis: "The most important issue I am campaigning
for is to make
the culture of America more like Europe where we have a free body
culture and where we have social benefits like the Europeans have...
we're talking about six-week vacations, sabatical leaves, union
representation on corporate boards, universal health care and
Lonnie Holmes: "The most important issue (facing San Francisco)
to me, is crime. I think we've had 350 homicides in the last 3
and half years. Including this year, we've got a total of 90 homicides,
including the one last night. I want to put more money into resource
centers so that we can get everyone involved in City goverment
so that we can solve all this crime."
Harold Hoogasian: "The most important pressing issue for
San Francisco is livability... our budget has been hijacked for
employment and patronage positions. The inefficiency of government
and reducing the budget is the primary purpose of my candidacy,
to put money back into things like infrastructure transportation
and housing opportunities.
We need to stop the waste."
Grasshopper Alec Kaplan: "My primary purpose for running
is housing, housing, housing. If you work here, you've got to
be able to live here. Let's make it legal to live in commercial
spaces and give people eviction protection."
Quintin Mecke: "The most pressing issue facing San Francisco
is public safety. In the last four years there have been 359 homicides,
a 27 percent increase over the last 4-year period. Over 60 percent
of those homicides have effected the African-American population.
We need to act now. Last fall, the mayor vetoed
foot patrol legislation twice and didn't support Propostion A.
We need change."
Gavin Newsom: "The most important issue and the most vexing
and challenging issue facing the city, is poverty... we've got
to get to the core of poverty." How about gifting Fog City
Journal your old digs at the Four Seasons? We're pretty broke.
Wilma Pang: "I am here to say that childcare is very important
and so is housing,
Chicken John Rinaldi: "We are a city of innovation and a
city of arts
and we are a city that artists and innovators can't afford to
Ahimsa Porter-Sumchai: "The greatest failing of the current
mayoral adminstration is the fact that our residents are not safe.
We also have a civil grand jury report from May of 2006 which
shows that our disaster response plan is flawed and we will not
be able to accomodate a surge of human victims in the setting
of a major disaster."
Josh Wolf: "The real most important issue is the lack of
a real democracy. It's gotten to the point where our politicians
are influenced, they are bought and sold on the stock market like
commodities and it's time to build a real democracy where every
voice is heard and headed, and we can tap into the wisdom of the
750,000 brilliant people that make up the City of San Francisco."
Michael Powers wasn't there to answer the first question. Stepping
up to the plate, almost an hour late, Powers said of Muni: "Muni
ought to be free. That's the bottom line. Muni runs officially
late most of the time and gives you poor quality in service."
On the issue of public safety, Powers has previously outlined
his plan to promote lateral transfers between state and local
policing agencies in an effort to improve SFPD recruitment efforts.
Red carded: With only 30 seconds to answer questions, candidates
Mecke, Brown, Hoogasian and Rinaldi asked Newsom for a real live
televised debate. How about it, Gavin?
When all was said and done, Gavin shakes the hand of showman Chicken
John Rinaldi, who's running for second place. According to insiders,
Rinaldi has a few covert contra-operations up his sleeve. Rinaldi
calls these his "secret weapon." Oh, really?!!
Josh gets an awkward hand shake, too. Break out the Purell, Josh!
UnplugTheMachine: "I'll shake your hand when you agree to
Sorry camera dude, but stairwells are restricted areas.
You're making the mayor look like he's running away from the press.
"I see Fog City Journal nailed you pretty good over the resignation
letters, Nathan. Join the club. I got nailed too when I told a
few fibs about my sock puppet fetish."
The San Francisco Chronicle's John Wildermuth asks the three amigos
while Nathan Ballard checks Gavin's favorite new blog - Hot
Chicks with Douchebags - on his CrackBerry.
And now to the other zombies...
Chicken John Rinaldi unleashes one of his secret weapons, a blood
oozing pack of zombies with no one to vote for. I thought dead
people could vote?
The night of the living dead.
Thumbs up, earthling.
Newsom zombie crossover attache, Mike "Spies like us"