COURT JESTERINGS

With h brown

San Francisco mayoral candidate, h. "Court Jester" Brown.
Photo(s) by Luke Thomas

Court Jester's week in review

By h. brown

June 9, 2007

"An abuse of the process … threatens integrity of RCV"

(Michael Ege - 'Able Dart' opines of Dawg candidacy)

"Forming a cult of personality"

(SFist 'gang of 3' attacks FCJ)

"h. brown endorsed Robert Haaland"

(Rob Anderson's advancing dementia shows)

I always wanted to have a personality. Anderson's just mad because I dumped him from my 'A' list and told him to lose my address (tell you still read anything he writes).

SFist kind of surprised me. It sounded like traditional Chinese commie lingo attacking the individuality and freedom of expression that drew most of the people I know to San Francisco. It's interesting that the attack on FCJ's Elaine Santore took such a form and was indeed, promulgated by a committee of three. Last thing we want is colorful people in San Francisco intent upon tending the wide arrays of strange and beautiful flowers who fill my phone book. Don't tell em, but I think they're just jealous Elaine is having more fun then they are.

Odds and ends and odd ends

POA guy gets drunk with a friend of mine the other day. Leaks that the new contract contains a random drug test provision. Lord, that would be great news. Of course, this guy says he won't support it for that reason, but if they did it, my hat is off to Phil Ginsberg. You get steroid testing in there too, Phil?

Newsom administation Chief of Staff Phil Ginsburg

Peskin ducks into Rules Committee yesterday to 'table' the re-appointment of Downtown pistolero, Jim Lazarus to Rec and Park. That's a strange one. Must be personal because anyone watching Peskin the last couple of years knows that he marches lock-step with the privatization campaign the City's Swells have been advancing throughout our parks system. Just 2 days back, Peskin said he was leaning toward privatizing the golf courses.

What the hell is Louise Renne doing popping up as an attorney in Richmond, California? I don't know her title. Surely, she's not the new City Attorney there? The only reason I can fathom she'd be there is to champion the giant Chevron refinery in their expansion plans. That would put her directly at odds with the new Green mayor over there.

Former San Francisco Police Commission President Louise Renne

Diamond Dave Whittaker tossed his hat into the SF Mayoral contest on Monday. He plans to gather 10,000 signatures in lieu of the absolutely outrageous $4,915.00 entry fee the 'Progressive Board' passed last year (a 50% increase designed to shut out the poor). I think that if I make $6k a year on my pension and have to spend 90% of it to run for Mayor, then everyone else should be on a sliding scale too.

That's fair, right? Yeah, I want to see a sliding scale introduced. That way, it would cost Gavin $140,000 to file. It would cost Mirkarimi (who voted for the measure) $90,000 and it would cost Warren Hellman somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 million dollars to run for Mayor of the City of St. Francis. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this preposterous increase in fee to run for Mayor passed unanimously at the Board. It is quite clearly arbitrary, capricious, malicious, and an abhorrent burden added to the backs of poor candidates like myself and Diamond Dave.

The lady I was chasing dumped me. Boy oh boy, does that get old. However, I certainly couldn't fault her reasoning and we remain friends. Now, I have to find volunteer arm candy to volunteer to beard for me at events. I wish I had a girlfriend. Don't you wish you had a girlfriend too?

Arm candy is vital to any serious political campaign. They don't have to speak (actually, it's probably preferable they don't - Hi Jen!). Shit, they don't even have to understand what's happening around them. It isn't even necessary that they be able to understand or speak English. They can be drunk, stoned or high on Oxycontin.

And, you have to have a vicious consultant. I'm still pushing for Marc Salomon, but he has a mortgage and keeps going out and interviewing for jobs and stuff. You'll agree though, Marc is the best foil for Eric Jaye.

I'll ask Krissy Keefer to be my campaign manager if she ever gets back from Tibet. Of course, Jens is my Senior Adviser, having led my last campaign against Newsom in D-2.

Krissy Keefer

What's this I hear about Gonzo's last campaign manager, Enrique Pearce disappearing from the masthead of Gonzalez and Leigh? By my count, Matt's lost half of his lawyers in the last 6 months. Maybe he's outsourced the jobs.

Job share for legislative aides? I don't trust anything introduced by Alioto-Pier and this one looks to further weaken the aides by cutting their salaries by 50% if the supe so desires. I don't like it and the aides won't talk to me about it.

Others will, though. On a quick trek into da Hall the other day to pick up my mayoral papers, I managed to get Miguel Bustos to lose his cool in front of a couple of grinning lawyers (told him there was no way he was gonna win in D-9) … Left Ernestine Weiss screaming that "Ferry Park is MY park!" which is utter bullshit, cause we all know that Sue Biermann saved it from being a parking lot. I tossed a verbal grenade at Pat Murphy who always reminds me of Mr. Hanky with a bow tie.

"I notice the coyote showed up in Supervisor Jew's district."

(Ammiano at Rules - are vultures next?)

I gotta head to Salon and if you know where it is, you should too. You just never know who's gonna be there or what they're gonna say. I invited Matt Smith who has taken an interest in bloggers of late. No surprise with the Chron layoffs. The blogoshpere is the shark tank awaiting all of them, and they know it. Best to meet the medium's Tony Soprano before you go into the drink.

Speaking of drink...

h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com, an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email h at h@ludd.net.

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