With h brown
San Francisco mayoral candidate, h. "Court Jester" Brown.
Court Jester crosses paths with Matt Gonzalez
"Why would I have a poll if I'm not a
"I don't want to talk to you guys cause
"Maybe you should lose 10 lbs and enter
(Matt Gonzalez dances in sun at Dolores Park)
July 5, 2007
I had one hell of a good time at the Mime Troupe's
opening in Dolores Park yesterday and I wasn't alone. Lord, Lord,
what an incredibly beautiful day. The clarity of view from the
Green Party perch that Sue Vaughan and John-Marc Chardonia and
Erika McDonald had staked out on the crest of the lush grassy
knoll next to the path
with their big sign as a beacon.
It all boded well as I ascended from the Tenderloin and picked
up the hashish to deliver to a cancer patient at the show. I chuckled
to think back on all the times I'd gone there to buy cheap weed
in the years before Prop 215.
You can't find happiness or good memories. They find you. The
show was a great place to look though, if that's what you had
in mind. I'd started the day writing a column on the Ethics Commission's
ties to corporate America and been interrupted with a call to
pick up some pot product for a patient in pain. That always takes
I had a beer with Krissy Keefer at the new Café Trieste
on Market around Gough or so (she drank coffee) while I waited
for the pot dispensary to open. I had a stack of notes from a
Gonzalez phone poll Luke Thomas had sussed
out a couple of days before and I went over the questions
(All questions on a scale of 1-5 with 5 being
What is your impression of:
Your district supervisor?
There were push questions listing Newsom's accomplishments and
others pushing those of Gonzalez. It was an extensive survey and
I'm guessing it set the RBA (don't know for certain) back $20,000
Matt Gonzalez with RBA clan members Angus McCarthy,
Richard Hart and RBA Chieftain Sean Keighran.
File photo, 1/8/7
Polls are like guns and knives. They can serve a useful purpose,
or they can be used to take lives. This one sounded pretty neutral.
Someone was trying to get an honest baseline a month out from
the candidate filing deadline for Mayor and from the rumors, Thomas
and I had concluded that it must be the Gonzo camp. A couple of
hours later and we were able to ask the man himself.
Matt Gonzalez extends a shaking hand to his nemesis h. Brown
"Hey, I heard you lost weight but it don't look it!"
(Bulldog incites Gonzo from 50 yards)
Two questions, Matt: Why did you get into politics?
Do you consider yourself a man of the people?
He was tossing a Frisbee with Cat Rauschuber when we spotted
them. The show was just ending and we'd been grabbing shots of
me groveling at the feet of 'Dick Cheney' and 'Condi Rice' and
others of the cast of the troupe's most right-on production in
years (core themes are the perversion of free press into a propaganda
machine, gays in the military, phony ribbon-cuttings for heartless
officials - 'Hi Gavin!')
that sort of thing.
Team Matt and Cat preparing to catch Steve Jones' frisbee.
Thomas was there with poison-pen cub gossip columnist (she called
me a paranoid drunk - pretty accurate actually)
there with Elaine Santore and he and I sat sipping whiskey next
to the Green Party station (there was a Henry George booth across
and, I wondered what kind of shots he could get
from a hundred yards from the stage with that fancy camera.
Condi Rice zaps Biggus
Dickus Cheney back to life.
Annie Garrison hauled in a bunch of chilled bottles of water
and Liam WhatsHisName passed them out and soaked in the sun. I
took mental notes of how many configurations the Troupe was able
to get out of their simple plywood sets which rotated on separate
axes and featured reversible panels with a variety of hinged and
sliding openings. The pit band kicked ass.
"My God, look at the body on Steven Jones!"
(all the girls and half the guys in our party)
h. Brown worships at the feet
of San Francisco Bay Guardian's alpha male Steven
The Guardian's City Editor was playing Frisbee with sweetheart,
Alix Rosenthal (that's lasted a long time, huh?)
wearing shorts and had stripped his hairy-bear body to the waist.
That's when I saw Gonzalez and launched one of my one-man paparazzi
attacks on him.
Tommi Avicolli-Mecca (who shuns me unless I'm with someone 'famous',
then is like, all friendly)
Tommi sidled up to watch me
grill Matt (he's down a good 25 lbs from his 2003 fighting weight)
futilely. Matt's down the pounds, I mean. Tommi probably hasn't
gained or lost an ounce in 25 years and I hate him for it.
I taunted the Left's most prominent politician about abandoning
Daly and creating division amongst the Greens and his lousy taste
in casual wear but he kept it together and I didn't learn shit.
Walk it off boys.
There's lots more (we went to Zeitgeist for bunches of margaritas
- wouldn't let Luke film - then to Jens') but, that's actually
enough for this piece. It was a truly wonderful day and I hadn't
expected it when I woke up. You can just never tell.
I gotta get back to my piece on the corporatization of the Ethics
Please stand back 500' from the truck.
h Brown gets a bit of Condi Rice leg...
... and a thighful of Vice President Dick Cheney.
Stand Up for the
h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com,
an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h
is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and
a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email
h at email@example.com.
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