The CrackBerry Chronicles
With Elaine Santore
June 29, 2007
Mom said, "Be easy on Gavin today."
It takes a lot of patience and creativity to make the news funny.
It takes even more to make a Board of Supervisors meeting on par
with KQED Pledge Week, but I do what I can for the community.
And then we have a day like Tuesday.
My day started early (for my unemployed schedule, anyway) at
the 10 a.m. Public Safety Committee hearing. I joined Supervisors
Ross Mirkarimi and Bevan Dufty, h. Brown, Marc Soloman, a bunch
of cops with no sense of humor, and a handful of non-cops to discuss
the SFPOA contract. (The issue is too lengthy and complicated
for me to discuss here; check out h. Brown's column.)
A man named Douglas Yep came up for public comment and announced,
"I'm a proud alumnus of Sacred Heart High School, which I
think is very relevant to the police department." One police
officer clapped in camaraderie.
Full disclosure: I'm a proud alumnus of archrival Saint Ignatius
College Preparatory. I won't give you the year I graduated. (Feel
free to look me up in the yearbook; I won "Best Smile"
in the senior poll.) District 7 Supervisor Sean Elsbernd also
attended SI, but I don't think he reads my column, so I'm not
giving him a shout-out.
District 7 Supervisor Sean Elsbernd
District 8 Supervisor Bevan Dufty (who didn't attend SI or SH)
later commented that he "always thought SI had a stronger
presence in the department," and he's probably right. I can
recall hearing stories in high school that started with, "I
got pulled over on Friday night, but the cop went to SI..."
District 8 Supervisor Bevan Dufty.
I'm sure many of the police officers saw me making disgusted
faces and/or laughing at them in the press box, and I apologize.
My only excuse is that I have ADD and have a tough time sitting
through meetings. That and many of the officers and their supporters
were issuing not-so-subtle threats to the BOS and a vague, yet
ominous public that supposedly has "no respect" for
FCJ HQ is located in the Tenderloin, and I fully support cops
cleaning up the streets in our neighborhood. Unfortunately, before
Tuesday's MOU hearing at City Hall, the only time I'd seen so
many cops in District 6 was when I used to stand in line with
them at Starbucks or the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Market.
District 5 Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi closed the hearing by assuring
police officers that he was already going to move the MOU to the
BOS with recommendation, but that he thought it would be important
to discuss the contract and have an open dialogue.
"If anybody came into these chambers with a defensive or
from an offensive posture, you have seen that that wasn't necessary,"
District 5 Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi.
"I hope you may not feel that this is just a waste of time,
or this is just some opportunity to get agitated about something
this wasn't about, like, should we or should we not object to
the MOU. If anyone ever sent that message out there, then you
were wrong, or you were misled. And if the Chronicle or anyone
else ever sent that, I don't know where that came from, per se.
But it's fair game and opportunity to have a thorough discussion,
and time didn't permit that," Mirkarimi stated.
Mirkarimi added, "You are considered somewhat of a sacred
institution and we shouldn't go there, which is what some people
tell us. Well, why? No one has treated anyone with disrespect.
And if you were thinking that you were, or you have, that wasn't
the intention at all."
His speech moved Fog City Journal publisher Luke Thomas to applaud
Mirkarimi, which prompted POA President Gary Delagnes (whom h.
Brown affectionately refers to as "Delugnuts) to lean over
to Thomas and call him a "Communist."
Fog City Journal (Hearts) Delugnuts.
Who's hiding the Code of Conduct?
After the morning's lengthy MOU hearing, Luke and I returned
to the Board Chambers for the regularly scheduled Board of Supervisors
At the beginning of the meeting, District 6 Supervisor Chris
Daly handed out printed copies of his latest blog entitled "Dirty
Work." Daly used his blog as an outlet to respond to
Mayor Gavin Newsom's statement that, "I've seen a lot of
things said and done, but usually politicians don't do the dirty
work. They have their handlers and consultants do the dirty work!"
District 6 Supervisor Chris Daly.
We all know how the rest of it played
out. Newsom issued a letter
to Board President Aaron Peskin, stating, "Raising such damaging
allegations on the floor of the Board of Supervisors' Chambers
is inappropriate behavior that should be condemned." Inapprop!
District 2 Supervisor Michela Alioto-Pier (MAP) used Daly's headline-grabbing
speech as an opportunity to issue a "code of conduct"
for the BOS. However, when Daly aide Rachel Redondiez approached
MAP's office to ask for a copy of the code of conduct, Redondiez
was turned away several times. In fact, Daly received the completed
draft at 12:45 p.m. on Tuesday after a draft copy had been released
to the San Francisco Examiner on Monday.
District 2 Supervisor Michela Alioto-Pier.
Elaine Santore to Steve Jones: "Is homegirl serious?"
When asked for comment, Alioto-Pier denied keeping the code of
conduct draft away from Daly's office. She asked Luke, "Are
you going to write some smear piece on me?" Sorry, homegirl,
but we have, like, news to cover.
Best line in Alioto-Pier's code of conduct:
"Further, a Supervisor who has been censured must be removed
from all Board committees with fiduciary responsibilities for
a one-year period beginning form the date of censure."
Um, didn't that already happen?
I know she's absent
lot, but hyping weeks-old gossip is nothing short of tragic.
Best line in Daly's code
"Also to prohibit and to enact penalties for intoxication
or substance abuse during meetings of advisory bodies, boards
and commissions, and legislative bodies... also to promote higher
standards of attendance for elected officials and appointed officials
at official public meetings."
So wrong, but so true.
And the "Bitch, please!" Award goes to Andy Ross
A couple weeks ago, I came face to face with Andy Ross of M&R
fame at City Hall, and it wasn't pretty. To quote the venerable
he "looked at me like I was Pol Pot or something."
to Andy is best expressed through the lyrical genius of Justin
Timberlake and Timbaland:
Could you speak up and stop mu-mumbling, I
don't think you came in clear
When you're sittin' on the top, it's hard to hear you from way
Now I saw you tryin' to act cute on TV, just let me clear the
We missed you on the charts last week, damn, that's right you
If se-sexy never left, then why's everybody on my shi-it-it
Don't hate on me just because you didn't come up with it
So if you see us in the club, go on and walk the other way
Cause our run will never be over, not at least until we say
On Monday, Andy's bosom buddy, Phil Matier, inquired about our
So Blind Item on Mayor Gavin Newsom's photo-op snubbing of
Elizabeth Edwards. However, when Luke declined to be quoted, Phil
apparently lost interest.
After hanging up the phone, Luke sent Phil an email pointing
out that Chronicle photographer, Katy
Raddatz, could confirm what went down with Newsom and Edwards.
Now, d'ya think Phil's gonna quote his own photog on this one?
If you haven't already seen it, my segment on SF/unscripted airs
tonight at 8pm, and Sunday at 8pm on Comcast 11.
CrackBerry Blind Item
Which advoscribe, who makes too many appearances in this column,
killed the Chicken Protest at Newsom's town
hall meetings? Hint: he's an ambulance chaser for a poverty
pimp with cash-not-care the pimp's greatest incentive.